永远的痛

Random

2010-02-07T18:01:00.002+08:00

Just finish my early dinner, these few days everyone at home will be working except me.
Recently, ashin seem to be quite free, online so often =D .
Now by right i should be doing reports, maybe because it's too hot in the noon, i dont have the mood to do anything. I guess i'll chiong all my reports at night.
Tml don't have to report work in Cheers. YES AH! haha. I hated monday morning shift, have to wake up at 5am and go school.
My brother have been posted to Republic Poly, Monday have to accompany him to NYP to appeal again. hais. My off day~
BF's parents just came to Singapore, hope that our dream will come true.
He intend to bring to Hong Kong on April for a short trip. Cos his aunts are living there.
Hehehe. I'm awaiting for that day.
In order to go Hong Kong I have decided to give up Mayday april 's concert.
I'll miss your performance mayday~

I am craving for korean food!~

Let me be

2010-01-31T21:28:00.003+08:00

I like it my way

Every corner of the house, there are damages
Not done by earthquake nor tornado
It the aftermath of a destruction
By a psycho living in the house

He love to torture people around him
Tears, blood, money
He loved all
Like a hungry vampire

We hide, We fear this demon from hell
Future destruction is inevitable
This will last till his death

"The sinners will be tormented in Hell"
I believe he will be one of the most suitable candidate

Daddy,

It's time I let you go

Meeting you in dream is more than enough

Thanks for being with me all this while

I love you daddy.

fck

2010-01-13T21:15:00.002+08:00

How can I stop family violence?
Report to police? Does it helps?

I am really tired living under his fists.
Why my family are so afraid of him...?
Just let him punch, kick or stab me.
Just once, and I will have the evidence against him.
We are protected by law, why afraid..?
I want to send him to jail, I don't care who is he.
Why must we let him control the way we live..?
He's just a selfish bastard.

As long as he injure me, he will have his consequences.
The most is to serve jail term.
Who cares?
I don't.
I have been living this kind of life for way too long.
Enough is enough.
Family are not your punching bag, not puppets.

You'll wait and SEE.
See what can I do.
I will stop everything.
HERE!

christmas 2009

2009-12-27T00:05:00.004+08:00

Christmas Eve 24/12/2009

Went to spagattis @ Bedok to have dinner, because I was sick that day, so after dinner, bf just send me home straight. Too tired from working at cheers in school. Sleep late and wake up very early. My christmas this year was ruined due to my flu. hais.

I ordered pasta with 2 flavoured. Quite nice but kinda expensive for the place we went.

Christmas 25/12/2009
Went to suntec and shop around with bf, met pei xuan, wei quan and andrew for dinner at fish & co, then went to dempsey road for ben & jerry's ice cream waffles.

Lonely and cold ride home from tanglin to bedok, unforgetable. Enjoyed my dinner with my bsc team =). I missed bsc.

26/12/2009, Suppose to celebrate the 1000th days anniversary with BF on 25/12. Because I calculate the wrong number of days, so we decided to celebrate on the 26/12/2009.

We went to PS, actually wanted to watch Alvin & the chipmunk 2, but by the time we reach there, most of the best seating are sold out, only left the front few seating, so we went off without watching it. Sadd... I wanted to watch this show so badly...

We went to 313 @ Somerset, shop around and finally decided to settle down for our dinner at Marche. Some photos taken at Marche, good for atmosphere. Food,....err, not bad =).

Crepe @ $10.90
Choice of chicken, ham or mushroom *Ham is recommended. =)Tasty.

Seems like salad.

$4.90 for small, don't try the pumpkin, it's not nice, eew.

Potato with cream @ $5.90 +

Nice, my BF like this the most.

Banana Cake slice @ $3.90

After dinner, we went to icing room to make our own cake for this special day. Bought the 4 inch cake @ $12 plus a box of fruits @ $ 2.80.

2009-12-19T12:59:00.003+08:00

I hate myself being myself.

I hate the way I talk to people.

I hate myself for not controlling.

I,...know my heart has him, yet I always always made him sad.

I really find it difficult to communicate with people.

Can I prefer not to talk anymore?

Why he will never understand what I am talking about?

How come he has brain, so do i. But the things we think are totally different

I wish he could just stop thinking of buying all sort of weird gifts for me.

All I want is sincerity.

Not Money.

I know I have been telling you I want this or that,

it doesn't mean I want you to buy.

I want something we can always keep in our hearts.

I know I am a damn cruel person.

Sorry for doing that,

because that is the only way I can protect myself from harm.

You have a full and happy family.

I don't.

You have a bunch of good buddies.

I don't.

You can have what you want.

I can't.

You don't have to think of others before you do anything.

I can't.

You can't understand that my heart had died once.

It's difficult, really diffcult to stay alive again.

Unless.

Daddy comes back to me.

伤痛却又在考倒我

。。

真的雨过天晴了吗？

Back to me.

2009-12-14T20:02:00.005+08:00

Time reveals a man's heart

Today, one of my team mate say that I seems to have a wall barrier between myself and other people. I used to be really quiet in school, because I always believe that the more I say, the more I will get hurt. I thought I had already leave that kind of life, but now I am back here again.

Alright, I should be used to it, because I came from there too.

How to suppress my emotions?

How long do I have to?

I always leave bad impression to others.

I guess that is who I am.

I don't want to explain.

I don't want to see nor hear.

Cos I believe what mine is mine.

Love can be simple, but friendship can't.

I don't want friends, not a single friend I want.

It will only cause wound & pain.

I am totally totally enough of that.

IF YOU HATE ME, PLS STAY FAR FAR AWAY FROM ME.

Saying words that hurt people isn't fun.

You'll get karma.

Daddy, I realised your over protection make me impossible to stand up for myself.

I need my wall barrier to protect myself.

I don't want to fall down anymore.

I want to learn to be fearless.

Daddy, give me some strength will you...?

2009-12-12T23:28:00.002+08:00

France, Nice

I have the opportunity to go France for school exchange programme, a 4 months study trip. These few days I have been thinking whether I should apply or not. It's kinda expensive. But it is my dream, backpacking, diving, tour Europe. A dream that is really difficult to reach, it's now offered to me, should I apply or no? Anyway even if I applied, it doesn't mean that they will choose me. What should I do??

After these few weeks in BSC, after all, some people had shown her true colour, a bad side of hers. Actually, I don't intend to.....make it worst. Actually I am really enjoying my life in BSC. I am happy. Really. But I really don't understand, how come human's thoughts can be so complicated. I am sick and tired of it. I am exhausted almost everyday. I can feel that heart beats is going slower. How I wish I can just close my eyes and wait for everything to fall upon me. Why every steps I have taken hurts me.

Can I just stop breathing with you.

I choose to be with you.

pasta

2009-11-29T15:05:00.002+08:00

Yesterday went to MS with BF to dine in Pasta De Waraku because the GV voucher is going to expire soon.

We ordered one set meal because we are not very hungry, the purpose to go there is to try out their food and use the voucher..hee. The set meal comes with a salad, corn soup, curry rice and a pasta. BF ordered the pasta with the wafu base, which is the original pasta taste in Japan, but hor... after tasting it, i still think that the normal tomato base and cream base is much better, and wafu base is more suitable for rice. hehe. Next time when I go there, I'll try the tomato.

Overall tasting is normal, service: not bad.

Left 3 more weeks in BSC, arghs.

I don't want to go MSC! hhaa. seems boring, and no pay one. sian.
It's time to start my report~

Selling!

2009-11-27T14:41:00.002+08:00

Yo! I am doing some personal selling. These are some things that I am selling for the Christmas season, if you're interested in buying, tag me!

little misha

2009-11-22T01:16:00.004+08:00

Today I met BF than went down to Sim Lim to pass my photocopied IC. Then headed down to Marina Square to have Carls Junior. HEE, the original thick burger! It's nice, and really big. Like usually, I can't finish the whole burger, so gave BF half of it.. Today his nephew's dad came back to Singapore, so xiao mi went back home....sobs, cannot play with him le. Last time my BF bought me this wanwan snack, it's nice, milk flavour, not too sweet and it's crunchy, until now than i have the time to eat. hehe. I like to keep my snacks for a long time before i eat it. =) I must be mad.

My BF's cute little nephew

His name is Misha, nickname is xiaomi,around 8 months old, Russian-Indonesia baby.

Hee, this week my BF's cousin brought her baby to stay over BF's house, so I finally got a chance to play with Misha.Heee.

He's a very adorable boy, won't cry when he sees strangers but he'll tend to be shy at times. He likes to put his little legs on the table while eating, and will bite when people carries him around.

In these few pictures, actually he was frowning after his mom feed him water. hehe, this pictures are extracted from video, so it'll be kinda blur.

Xiao mi enjoyed being carried around by his uncle(my BF) and tend to look at him like this when BF carries him =). So cute right? haha.

He likes to mumble to himself, and when he's alone, he tend to sing in baby language. hehe. Damn cute. How i wish i'll have such a cute nephew. eeew! cute boy!

Next week I'll be working at Expo's IT fair. hehe. $ for SLR!

2009-11-18T20:51:00.002+08:00

昨天早上 7.30am

我看见老爷爷握着拐杖在楼梯等待

在楼梯的上头老奶奶努力的慢慢的一步一步下楼

老奶奶的腿不灵活了走得慢

老爷爷很有耐心没有埋怨

一直到老奶奶走到老爷爷身边老爷爷升出手

紧握着老奶奶的手一起走

这时的我，好羡慕

想起爸爸握着妈妈的手的时候

想起他那温暖的手

我好想念老爸

谁能让我拥抱着紧紧的哭

Happy 19~

2009-11-12T21:19:00.002+08:00

Let me summarise what have i done these few days....

Friday 06 Nov 09

Today, I meet zerene for dinner at nearby school's hawker centre, hmm we had BBQ stingray & Sotong, but it's not as nice as Bedok's 85 market. Zerene gave me 3 shin chan key chains as birthday present. hehe. My favourite. Still, she know me best. =). Thanks friend.

Monday 09 Nov 09

My 19th years old's birthday.

Took half day leave from BSC then went to Orchard to roam around, ate teppanyaki for dinner.

Actually, it's kinda boring, because i am too tired that day.

After I reached home, I saw my grandma from Malaysia at my house. Kinda shock, cos she always come so suddenly.

My brother bought me a strawberry short cake, HA, every year the same cake, but never mind, cos it's my favourite.

Tuesday 10 Nov 09

Went to school as usual, then suddenly my team mates ask me out for dinner, only pei xuan, jolena, theresa, wei quan and andrew came along, cos others got things on. Then we went to Raffles Place for dinner in a Japanese dining. Then after dinner, they bought a cake for me and sang me a birthday song, I was kinda surprised when i heard Happy Birthday song from my back, haha. Thanks Wei quan for buying a cake that i like, haha, sorry for not loving chocolate, let you all suffer with the strawberry cake, but really, i said this right from the bottom of my heart, I really really appreciate and thank you all for celebrating my birthday, thank god.. still have people will remember my birthday. =)

Though we didn't take photo as memo, but that scene will always be kept in my heart.

Hmm, the last time I had celebrated with my friends is ....... Sec 4? or 3? I can't remember.

I cherish our friendship very much~ Team 5 rocks~ hehe.

Wednesday 11 Nov 09

Today, my 6~7 years friend: Song Rui Qin bought me mini cakes as my birthday present. Thanks girl! hahah. but hor, can i tell you something? .... actually I don't eat chocolate, but never mind, I still ate the cakes, =). Tomorrow is your turn to celebrate 19th birthday, tml I won't be going to school, so sorry that your present will be delayed.

Today, I also received present from Esther & Atricia, thank you girls~

Actually I was just kidding about the present thing, but I really never think that your will buy a present for me, thankks!

Thursday 12 Nov 09

Today is BSC games day, let me start from my day in the early morning, kinda unlucky, the sbs iris service is always inaccurate one, irritating. I have 4 mins from my home to the bus stop, so after I closed the door, I have to run all the way from my house to the bus stop, tired.

When I reached school, I went to meet kelvin & Atricia for the Geylang Methodist excursion. After running here and there, then I finally can go back to office and take a rest, then we all went for a boring talk than finally is the games day.

Actually all the games are kinda stupid, got I got torture 2 times today.

Hmm, this afternoon, we went for tresure hunting around SBM, but one of the team mate couldn't run anymore, we all thought that is because she cannot run already, but we didn't think that she was having breathing difficulty.

When I saw her pale face, trying hard to breathe, she seems so weak, somehow, i felt guilty.

If we all have realised that earlier, maybe she will not be like this..

We heard from the supervisor that she was being warded TTS hospital.

Hope that she can get well soon, without you, we are not in a team.

Please get well.

God bless you.

Pain

2009-10-31T00:08:00.003+08:00

Really hope that our Taiwan proposal can win~!
I want to go TAIWAN!
*Stay Real~
*Shin Chan~
*Ashin! hehe.

This sunday is our 2 years 7 months anniversary

Nothing Special, just ..... Carl's Junior! My favorite.

2 more weeks to my 19 birthday.

It'll be a boring one. I know.

Cos you are not here with me anymore.

Birthday, birthdays is meaningless.

More birthdays passed, means you have leave me for a additional year and so on.

That's nothing to be happy about, nor.....to celebrate.

While moving on, while walking alone, while imagining you're sitting there.

I always tend to look back at what have already gone.

Maybe my past life I did something really bad, that's why i lost you.

Perhaps, it was my fate.

I know it's stupid, but i would still like to exchange my place with you.

Losing is too painful.

好后悔好伤心

想重来行不行

再一次我就不会走向这样的结局

好后悔好伤心

谁把我放回去

我愿意付出所有来换一个时光机

对不起

独自回荡在空气没人听

你和我还有很多的地方还没去

为何留我荒唐的坐在这里

Satisfied

2009-10-24T10:53:00.003+08:00

School reopen, I am in BSC of Teaching Enterprise Project currently, from Monday to Thursday is workshops, workshops and more workshops. Those workshops make me really want to fall asleep. Recently I bought a new comic to add in my collection. $7.50 is kinda expensive for a non-colour comic. ~

Yesterday I went to East Coast to meet BF, and he said he want to give me a surprise, and that will be the fresh bird nest that his mother brought for me~ =)
It's so fresh that even the bird's feathers are stucked in the bird nest. hehe.

Then after having dinner at KFC, we went to roam around parkway parade, and saw that Sembawang music store is having a closing down sales, I went in to look for Mayday older albums, eventually I found one but that's also the only one left.
They are having a 50% + 30% sales in store till this sunday only, so i bought this Mayday album for only $7.50! It's damn cheap, if compared to HMV.
If anyone wanna buy CD, VCD or DVD, rush down there now~
They got older disc and some are latest, all half price...for a older disc it will be 75% discount! That's so cool man. hehe. I will go down again later to see if i left out something that I wanna buy. wooosh.

Editing of blog!

2009-10-02T16:44:00.002+08:00

Omg. Finally finishing editing the new blogskin. Used almost 4 hours of my life.

Keep having problems with the arranging.

Hee. Yesterday night my BF give me a surprise, like what he promised.

Though I already guess dao le the surprise he wanna give me, because he is really bad at making lies. Unlike me! haha.

KFC have been giving away shin chan figures for their chicky meals, yet i don't know until yesterday!!

Luckily BF found out earlier, and secretly bought all the 3 weeks's figures without telling me.

I really thought I couldn't get it anymore.

HEE. That's is best surprise he gave me. hehe.. happy~

We are waiting for the last figure to complete the collection. =)

My new blogskin okay ma? Actually this is not the original version, due to some problems I had to re-edit the whole arrangment. Only the background and box is original.

First time I change the blogskin myself. heee. Noob.

Okay, eyes is tired. bye~~

Faat.

2009-09-30T23:28:00.003+08:00

Today meet up with BF, went Ion Orchard to roam around, bought the always in-long-queue tako balls, drank the weird-taste mo-cha.

Actually the Tako balls is nice, except for it's ginger, eeew. $4.80 for 6 balls. Worth it. =)

Then we walked all the way to Heeren, thinking of having our lunch cum dinner at Billy Bomber.

But, we realised that Billy Bomber there was moved, so we switch to The Cathay.

Ate Billy Bomber because he have been craving for it since the day i made his fish and chip swim. =P.

I am a very fierce GF? Am I? His fish and chip went swimming because that day I just pour the whole glass of water into his fish and chip because he made me really mad and walk off. HAHA.

Man, that's why he always told me, no body can tolerate a GF like me. =).

Yeah indeed, i agree =p.

After having lunch, we went to Orchard Central, not a very impressive shopping mall I can say.

BF keep saying Ion Orchard got better lighting and atmosphere.

Of course la, Ion Orchard you are talking about.

Went back to Ion Orchard, bought a $1 mini pancake from basement.

He bought a .... fish? with custard and banana in it. Hee. Nice~

Bought some beautiful looking bread from Bread Society and went home.

Wahhh. Recently I have been eating alot during this holiday. Went to try Pasta de Waraku 's set lunch with mummy the other day. And order one pasta, pancake and curry rice. Overall, it taste quite nice. Except for the onions, they gave too much. I hate ONIONS!
Baked Pancake

Curry Rice.

Memory

2009-09-21T13:31:00.002+08:00

Today I heard a VERY BAD news from BF.

The author of Crayon Shin Chan had passed away.

As a big fan of Crayon Shin Chan,....I am really... sad.

Really hope that his production wouldn't stop.

His work is really good.

Thank you Mr Yoshito Usui.

Thank you for all the good works that you have produced, it's being loved by many of the fans of Shinnosuke.

Hope you rest in peace.

53

2009-09-17T01:45:00.002+08:00

13th September 2009

By right this date should be your birthday.

We should be celebrating together.

This is the 2nd time we're celebrating your birthday in front of your urn.

Daddy.
I am sorry.
When you fall, I wasn't there for you.
When you are lonely, I wasn't there for you.
When you need me, I wasn't there for you.
When you are leaving, I wasn't there for you.

Now my heart is filled fully with regrets.
After you left than I know everything is too late.
I have been missing you everyday after you left.
423 days and still accumulating.....

=.=

2009-09-10T10:52:00.002+08:00

Yes, I'm finally sick.

Since I can't find a part-time job, might as well stay at home and fall sick.

Thanks to somebody who insisted to catch a movie yesterday and plus the popcorn & cold drinks.

Yesterday my bf and I went to Plaza Singapura, saw Zerene working there then went to Daiso to buy some things, and saw Hui Zhen and Cheryl working there.

Ok, Sick currently, so stop writing here.

Pls let me find a job soon!

21st Birthday

2009-09-04T23:24:00.011+08:00

I finally got the energy to update my blog. Let's start from 3/9/2009 - Went to Ritz Carlton Hotel to celebrate my boyfriend's 21st Birthday. Basically, we went there for their dinner buffet at The Green House, never really celebrate much like holding a party or something, because we're tight on cash! haha. I took some photos. That hotel is really beautiful. =)

3rd September 2009

Venue: Ritz Carlton Hotel

My Birthday Boy.

A complimentary cake from the hotel.

My 1st round

( From bottom to right:Kung bao Chicken, Black Pepper Crab, Bean paste Prawn, Mushroom with Chicken Thigh and Dory Fish with Cream)

Took a slice of roasted beef from the Roasting Corner, and to my surprise, the beef is 80% raw, I had a hard time cutting and chewing the beef.

Salad Prawn

This time, it's a grilled beef.

Sushi and Mushroom Tart.

You can see how thick is the crab meat they used to make the sushi, only one word to describe this - Oishi!

Pasta

Mussel and Prawn

Pork ball and Ribs

Prawns! This prawn is well-cooked, nice. A must try.

Cheese with Biscuit- This is DAMN nice, my bf and i ate a lot of this. =)

We love cheese!

Desserts

This is the present I give him, a Mont Blanc Wallet.

Nice? Hee.

After Ritz Carlton Buffet, We went off to meet his friends at his house down stair. They bought him a mango cake, and after that we all went to Henderson Bridge and slack till around 2.40am then he send me home. =).

4th September 2009
Venue: Suntec City & Marina Square

Today we went to Suntec City, suppose to catch a show, but we missed the time, so we roam around and stop at Starbucks for a cup of coffee.Front: Ice Vanilla Latte

Back: Ice Blended Mocha

After the coffee session, we went back to Suntec City because my bf parked his car there. I'm suppose to help my brother buy some potato fries near Carrefour, who knows the shop collapse le, so since we are there, we went over to see the cars being display at the atrium.

And yes! This bumble-bee car which appeared in Transformer Movie catch the most attraction.

This is a real beauty man, it's a dream to drive this kind of car.
That's the end! Bye~

2009-08-30T14:17:00.005+08:00

Singapore Indoor Stadium
Me and beloved ZERENE (She insist not to take photo with me)

Mayday 28.8.2009 concert.

Woo. Enjoyed myself. I love mayday's concert. Simply rocks. Got quite a number of videos, but don't want to upload cos the waiting time is too long. =). $184 is worth it, though the chair quality sucks.

Dna concert

2009-08-28T12:03:00.003+08:00

Yeah Yeah! Today will be the 2nd time to Singapore Indoor Stadium. To watch Mayday DNA concert! Yeah!

Hope that the security let me bring my camera in! It's big but not an SLR.

Please open your eyes big to check our bags. =).

1 day!

2009-08-26T10:52:00.004+08:00

Roar!

1 more day 1 more day!

Yeah, I'm going to Mayday's concert on this Friday.

The concert will be extended to 12am only for Friday's.

Should i be happy?

Need to take taxi home, with midnight charges..

AIYA. Taxi jiu taxi lo. Never mind. =)

1 day 1 day!!

Hmm too bad i don't have a digital camera, so later I'll be heading down to parkway parade to borrow a cam.

Ah-ahh, not from my boyfriend, but from another old friend of mine.

heeeee. thank god that someone is willing to lend me a cam.

Mayday!!!

Oh ya, it seems like ashin cut his hair already.

Become very short now.

He finally realised that long hair is a nuisance =D

Freedom*

2009-08-22T20:30:00.002+08:00

Yeah, my holiday starts today.
Am thinking how to spend my 2 months holiday..look for part-time job, play game, go out, sleep 14hours a day.=).
I have been helping my brother to train his maple char for 6 hours. but still not much exprience gained, cos i am kinda slack.
Today is a really hot day man! Have been drinking the 5th cup of barley water. Hot hot!
Tata, i go continue my job. heee.

Exam Freak!

2009-08-12T16:16:00.003+08:00

YooHoo~

I think i must be mad, Friday have Law exam, I still got the time to draw and blog. Haha.
- Overstressed already

Keep on doing revision like mad but still cannot get those stupid information into my damn head.

Law is 60% for my module (T.T).

Stupid module. I hate law's marker.

Hais, keep complaining also no use ma, forget it, continue my revision~

Concert

2009-08-02T16:54:00.003+08:00

See! See! My tickets to Mayday D.N.A concert! Wahaha~

我终于忍下心的买了那演唱会的票

心里充满了兴奋

Yes! haha.

Thanks Zerene for going with me!

I love you! haha

Don't puke okay..? =)

Okay, 发完风了

It's time to study!

D.N.A.

2009-07-31T22:59:00.002+08:00

I just want to watch you sing~

Mayday. Ashin.

Red

2009-07-30T18:42:00.002+08:00

I guess it's time to let go

the promise that I have made

It's useless anyway.

I don't want to care anymore.

It makes me feel really pain.

Sorry.

我哭泣，像下雨

其实我不知道，眼泪有没有流

わたしわ　つかれ　

すみません

...

2009-07-25T23:43:00.001+08:00

Just finished bathing, and realised my damn ear stud was gone!
My $88 ear stud... sobs...

Pls rise my stock!~

stranded

2009-07-23T22:29:00.003+08:00

Can I have a hiding place?

I don't want to talk anymore

I don't want to go home

I hated everything in my life

...

20.07.2009

2009-07-20T20:51:00.002+08:00

Today, it shouldn't be a day for me to be happy.

Daddy's 1 year death anniversary.

Last year, this date, I am looking at your face, so white, so pale.

You're lying in the coffin, locked.

My heart have been crying for a year....

Though it shouldn't be a happy day for me, but...because of my lovely classmates. I love school today. =). The reason,....I don't intend to say.

I am really happy, because my current class rocks.

Unlike year 1's class. Most of them sucks. I mean MOST.

Thank god.

tired

2009-07-08T02:00:00.003+08:00

The next 4 weeks of my life with be filled with projects, Ica 3 and exams. Oh my god, backache already. haha. Keep sitting at the chair for too long while I am doing tutorials and projects. Suddenly become owl for these weeks. Sleep around 3 am almost everyday and wake up around 8am. Sounds crazy?

Hope that the two months holiday will come soon~! Can't wait for it already.

Exhausted.

I wanna go Mayday concert @ 28/8

God, give me tickets!

2009-07-04T01:44:00.002+08:00

Today I went Plaza Singapura to watch Ice Age 3 with my BF. This movie is entertaining, so funny. I have been waiting for this movie for some time. If I were to rate it, it'll be 4/5, cos some parts is kinda boring.....

I really like the part when the greeny animal pull something from the bull.. and shouted " I thought you were a female!" haha. That part is real funny. Next movie I shall watch will be the latest Harry Potter that will be coming out at the mid of July. Lets see if this movie is worth watching or not.....

Today's afternoon, we went to the Hokkaido Fair @TM too, woah, really crowded. Food tasting..hmm average, but the price is....$$ kinda expensive. I only find the custard puff which is selling for $1.30 per piece is nice. Queued around 15 minutes just for that puff. When we were about to go off, we saw one store selling their melon @ $86 per piece. OMG, damn damn expensive. The size is smaller then the Honey dew that we usually eat. Than my BF commented: when you become a millionaire than you'll be willing to spend that kind of money for the fruit.

Oh man, why must I be a millionaire before I can try. Never mind, I'll buy it next time. Curious about how it taste like... why they charge that kind of price for that fruit....? Special? Wait till I taste it before I can get an answer~

Woot, have been doing projects and e-learning for the past one week. No time for any game nor entertainment. So, we all hated elearning week. It sucks. Good-bye elearning!

2009-06-23T22:38:00.002+08:00

Today I went JB with my mom, bro and uncle to settle some bank problem. Then after that we went to City Square to shop around. I happen to see this shop selling all sort of unique buns from Taiwan. I have seen a taiwan show "I guess" introducing "Mr BaoZi", so we bought some home. It's selling RM$3 per bun and 6 for RM$14 plus. It's kinda nice, haa,now i know bun can have special taste too. =)
Black Bread? Chao Ta Bread? Spoilted Bread?...
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.

haha, it's actually a bread made of bamboo charcoal
It's kinda special too. First time seen a black colour bread.
Taste normal. Just the colour weird.
Had a tiring day today. It's time to sleep~

Dad

2009-06-18T01:22:00.004+08:00

Today's sky look like this.. the picture is quite blur because i am in the car. haa

Our Marina IR ~ nice?

Today is 17.06.2009.

A year back, same date, we sent daddy to SGH for emergency.

Because he finally cannot bear the pain anymore.

In the cab, dad sit on my left, mom on right.

While we are going to reach SGH.

My tears fell.

I don't know why, I got a feeling that after this day, dad will never go home anymore.

Indeed, I predicted the correct thing.

Daddy saw me crying.

He held my left hand.

Like some kind of reassuring.

His hands were always so warm.

We reached SGH.

Waited 4 hours until Daddy is offically admitted in.

7 days later.

He was sent to Dover Park Hospice.

He slowly lost his eye sight.

Than one by one his teeth dropped off.

He was losing the battle.

Finally, he cannot see us.

Cannot hear us clearly.

Cannot recognize us.

He was so skinny.

Skin started to rot.

He could not speak well anymore.

He was sent to "V.I.P" room ( that room is for those dying paitents)

He couldn't see, hear, speak and feel.

One day I was called to rush to the hospice asap (I am in school doing project )

I reached there first, before my brothers.

Daddy's tired already.

He's closing up his eyes.

I am so afraid that he'll close his eyes forever.

I was alone with him.

I told him how much we loved him...please don't go.

He woke up suddenly, and never closed up his eyes anymore.

For the next days and night, he never sleep.

He seems like forcing himself to stay awake, because he heard me.

On 19.07.2008.

My mom, bro and me went to accompany him.

We are watching TV.

Talk to him awhile.

Help him clean up.

Before I leave the room, I told him

"Daddy, 明天再来看你"

I planted a kiss on his forehead.

On the same night,

the nurse called us.

Dad's condition is worsen, we had to prepare for the worse.

12.15am.

We received a call from the same nurse.

He passed away on 20.07.2008 12.15am.

......

Lung Cancer is scary right?

So smokers, stop smoking, you are not just killing yourselves

But in the same time, you're killing others who are around you when you're smoking.

My dad got lung cancer, not because he smokes.

My grandpa smoked for decades....

泪

2009-06-15T23:23:00.004+08:00

The date is nearer. One year is coming.

Heart will collapse soon.....

I have taken down my smile today and fell into sadness.

I tried so hard to cry without making a sound.

I tried so hard to make my eyes not to be red nor swollen.

I'm tired. The days are over.

I had to accept and adapt.

Today I felt that everything crush me so hard that I had to .... cry.

Sounds funny? I don't cry, it's just..so not me.

It seems like fate want to take everything you left away.

I wish I can never stop dreaming.

Only in dream, I can see you. Hug you.

We're so far apart. I can never reach you anymore.

I don't expect people to understand how much I love you.

I missed those days. When you're around.

Protect me from falling.

I used to feel secured.

Not now anymore.

You have changed everything in my life.

I am sick of going home. In fact, I hate home.

How I wish i can share my burden with you.

Why am I keep forcing myself not to cry?

会很会伪装我自己

我的声音在笑泪在飙

为何我的真心你听不到

对不起

2009-06-06T12:37:00.004+08:00

剩下的人生

刚刚读了阿信的blog 看到了这句话想了很多很多伤心事

有时觉得自己是不是还没长大为什么还会喜欢歌手喜欢收集五月天的音乐？

以前也有听五月天的歌但是不是很疯狂
其实突然发现他们的歌代表人生就想把人生的过程写成歌

这就是为什么很喜欢吧。。。

五月天10万人出头天演唱会 dvd

去年的今天你还在我身边不过很痛苦每天都苦着脸我很遗憾遗憾为什么自己没有多陪陪你考试重要吗？

玩电脑重要吗？男朋友重要吗？到底什么是比你跟重要？？

对不起，没有好好陪陪你让你孤独的离开这个世界

人生不会有从来的那一天如果错过了就失去了很多人还不明白这个道理为什么人总是要失去才会后悔

为什么不让自己没有“后悔”为什么不珍惜？珍惜是不用学的爱就大胆的告诉他/她

后悔的泪算什么？“后悔”本来就不该拥有是自己造的

生命走了不会再回来了

我那掉下来的泪是因为自己造的

我剩下的人生该这么度过？

TS3

2009-06-03T00:13:00.003+08:00

Hurray I got my The Sims 3! Sorry for the lousy photo quality. My room was too dark. Anyway, I was kinda disappointed when my brother did not get the limited edition T-shirt. He said the organiser gave out the gift before 2pm (this is the time they suppose to start)....i want that shirt~~ They gave me a hairband instead =.= .. How can I possibly wear that hairband out. People will thought that I'm a alien. With that big GREEN diamond on top on the hair band..looks funny.

Guess what's this...?

A 2Gb thumbdrive =)

See, the cloud is now lower than a tree. HEE.

1 week 5 days to term break.

I am going to die due to exhaustion.

3 more ICAs to go..

Oh yeah, I am confirmed to work as a flyer distributor for next week's IT fair @ Suntec

Money money money =)....

rice~

2009-06-01T21:41:00.002+08:00

Finished my marketing ica 1 today, yeah~ finally.. headache is over.
Yesterday I cooked teriyaki chicken rice for dinner. Yummy~

Look yummy? =)
I am a great fan of Japanese food, so I tried cooking it myself.
There was once a lady introduce me this teriyaki sauce for grilling chicken. Yeah, indeed it's really tasty. =)..

Just eating the rice is kinda plain I bought the instant miso soup as side.

Dinner's ready~

It's easy to cook, using sushi rice, seaweed, chicken cutlet and the teriyaki sauce.

Try it if you like~

2009-05-28T17:54:00.002+08:00

Counting down...3 days to the arrival of my The Sims 3!! Oh yeah oh yeah~~
But sadly, I don't have the time to play with it until my June term break.
Having my Marketing ; Japanese Lang ; Retail and Law Ica next week..can just die.
AND AND AND! Today my Finance's balance sheet couldn't balance. oh man.it's so sickening...
I hate accounts + finance. They're real killers.

2009-05-24T16:11:00.002+08:00

Recently I have fallen in love with the sky. Everyday the shape of the cotton-like clouds keep changing, I have never seen them repeat itself before. Looking at clouds make me feel peaceful.
Oh yeah...dumpling day just arrived few days ago. So I keep receiving dumplings from my relatives and keep eating it. Man...I 'll look like a dumpling sooner or later.
Oh..in case you don't know how a dumpling looks like.....

Nah. This is the dumplings I get to eat everyday...since dumpling day. Sick of it.

Friday I went to ASTON at Katong with my BF for dinner. Heee. Beef Steak-Medium. Nice yeah..It's yummy. I love Beef Steak. =D.

123

2009-05-24T00:25:00.006+08:00

Was kinda boring..sick of doing project research. Hated discussions. Loathed Projects!
Man..this is the first project this year...am I dying that soon...? So I randomly surfing the net and found this. I did a survey on my own.

Depression Signs and Symptoms
Clinical depression is distinguished from situational depression by length and severity
-Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness YEAH!
-Loss of interest in daily activities WHAT IS SUPPOSE TO MY DAILY ACTIVITIES?
-Appetite or weight changes YEAH!
-Sleep changes (Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping ) YEAH! i CAN HAVE ENDLESS OF SLEEP..
-Psycho motor agitation or retardation (Either feeling “keyed up” and restless or sluggish and physically slowed down.) I AM RETARDED.
-Loss of energy (Feeling fatigued and physically drained.) SICK AND TIRED.
-Self-loathing I HATE ME.
-Concentration problems YEAH!

So after this survey it's obvious that I have depression right? Nah... if really it's true there will be a lot of depress people around. My main problem is.., no one understands me..even myself. I lose.

2009-05-17T19:03:00.002+08:00

Yeah! Just now my boyfriend came over and pass me The Sims 3 pre-order card. So happy.

He said : So now you can cancel one of the sentence in your wishlist?

Me: Yeah!

Thanks dear =)

Singlehood.

2009-05-17T00:44:00.002+08:00

" I wanna be single forever!!!"
Woosh. Tired of relationship. Tired of quarrels. Tired of "friendship VS romance". Tired of nagging. Tired of his "F" attitude. Omg. Enough of all these. When can I get my freedom again? I feel like as if I am forced to stay in this sickening place to face "him!"
Sometimes I really feel like tearing him apart. (Sounds fierce huh, yeah.., the truth is...I'm always fierce)

Relationship is something that will tied you down due to some sort of weirdy reasons.
Especially when the partner wasn't from the same country as yours.
Falling in love is good, but being together for a long time really sucks.
Especially when the person still can't understand you well when we're together for so long.
Is it right to tied someone down just because you're girlfriend/boyfriend?
I don' t think so, it's alright to continue life like a singlehood isn't. Anyway, we're not committed into marriage. (I really can't imagine if I do...)
I just want a boyfriend that doesn't disturb me when I'm busy, shut up when I asked him to, admit the mistakes that he did, spend time with me more than his friends - is it too much?....

2009-05-14T21:21:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I took a photo of a moth which is flying around my house, but it ended up in the heaven. Sobs. Mom smacked it with a newspaper. Nice colour yeah? 1st time see a orange-yellow colour moth. Hmm.. 2 more weeks to ICA 1. Man, pray pray..hope that I can do well for financial and accounts. *pray...pray...

2009-05-13T20:16:00.002+08:00

Today I had my 1hour plus National Education of " The History of Singapore". Though I have watch these kind of videos a lot of times during secondary school's SS lesson, but I still enjoy it. Thanks to a great leader,our lives now is a lot better than the past. =) I am lucky to be a Singaporean.
I am curious about something..., why recently I always smell weird stuff when I am in the bus..?Now is the "fart-ing" season is it? Why I'll always smell something that really sinks in the bus..almost everyday, really can't tolerate. Oh my..these people can you please "fart" when you alight? It's so inconsiderate.
For this sem, I really like retail studies lesson. After this lesson than I realise that Singapore will have a lot of new shopping malls..by 2010.. maybe. Like Orchard Central,Ion, 313, City Square, IR at Marina..that's all I can remember. In future Singapore will be a Shopping Paradise, only for people who can afford to.. hee, but still I am not in the mood to shop recently. Wait till I got my own income than I will start shopping again =). That's all for today. Bye.

2009-05-09T00:28:00.002+08:00

我的天

你是我最崇拜的人

也是我最依赖的人

只要有你就是天堂

你的心就像天那么大

一支照亮着我

伤心难过都被你带走

你的痛苦

没人知道

失去了你我才真正知道

原来你一直是那么爱我

如今只能照片来取代

取代你的存在

。

永远爱你，

芊如

Drowned

2009-05-03T21:50:00.002+08:00

After 1st week of school, I am flooded with tutorials again. Haven been having this feeling for a long time. Sad to say, I am having an E-quiz tomorrow yet I still can't absorb any information given in the notes... I am dying soon. I hated school!!.. Hee. Who love it anyway?..

2009-04-24T23:37:00.002+08:00

My elder brother's back from NS today, and created havoc in the house.
Metal chairs flying across the living room, wooden chairs are in the kitchen are being smashed, the 18 years old fan was destroyed, the monitor was being smacked too.
Water are all around the floor, i guess that's not a clean water...must be the water from his fish tank.
Discs all thrown around.
My feet got bruised.
Overall, I had a really bad day.
If my boyfriend wasn't around at my house during that time, I may have died.
I really have the urge to fight with him, I know it's kind of funny, but I really want him dead.
I don't care who the hell he is, I don't care whether I can fight him or not...I just want to give him back what he had given us all these years. All the sufferings.
I don't wish for a caring and loving brother. All I wish is that he can be a human with heart.
He's just too heartless.
And....the reason for why he created all these today is because my mom added sand into his fish tank. THAT'S ALL. This is the reason. Finding it stupid? Yeah, I agreed, but what can I do...?

I feel like joining Kickboxing as CCA in school.

Random

2009-04-09T00:17:00.002+08:00

Few weeks later, I will have to go back to the same old place again, hugging all my damn lecture notes. Hais, thinking of that..I feel like dying. Hee.
Recently I keep roaming around with my boyfriend, to East Coast, to Plaza Singapura, Suntec,Vivo..etc.
Today I watched Shinjuku Incident with him.
Kinda..boring, cos since the lead actor was Jacky Chan I expect some fighting scene, but it has disappoint me by using .. chairs, tables, and all sort of things that can be used to throw. Oh ya, their main weapon is long knife, like samurai sword.
Hope that the upcoming Fast & Furious 4 will be a nice show. If not I'll strangle Jeff, haa, his fault again.
Oh yeah, Jeff finally bring his nephew's photo today to show me. He's a pretty boy. 16 days old. Don't have golden hair, instead, brown hair. No blue eyes too. All brown. Hee, weird description. Anyway, I want to have such a cute baby too =D..

2009-04-06T00:05:00.002+08:00

School is going to start soon,..boring
Recently, my boyfriend's nephew was born, heh, I wanted to see the baby so badly, because he's a Eurasian,..I think so. Father is from Europe (don't know which country) and mom is a Indonesian. Envy my boyfriend man.
How I wish I can find a Caucasian boyfriend, so that in future my baby will look good. he he. Oops. Hope that Jeff never see this column, aiya, anyway he's used to it, because I always say that to him.
I wanna go London 2 years later!
Yes I will go.
Mom already promised me that. =D

Mayday

2009-03-31T14:20:00.002+08:00

五月天-后青春期的诗

五月天爆肝

五月天我心中尚未崩壞的地方

2009-03-26T23:20:00.004+08:00

"What really makes me happy?"
I have been thinking this sentence over and over again these few nights.
Till now, I found that my life have been down all the while.
My life have been perfect till 15. Even though I am not rich, not pretty,...not that kind of perfect that all the women/girls desires, but I have happiness. After that year, I live without a heart..till now..and still going on.
Can you believe,..I came out with no friends...i mean FRIEND from the school which i spent 5 years. Thanks to somebody. Ruin everything.
Ever since that person broke every one's heart. That day when truth leaked out. I lost my friends, I lost trust...and really, thanks to that damn person, I, DARE NOT make any friends anymore. No more. Cause now I believe, no friends = no heartbreaking moment.
People will ask me, why not forgive and forget. My answer was, she don't deserve any bit of my forgiveness, anyone may think that it's just a small thing, but I couldn't take it. Till now, it's still in my heart- that pain. I hate her for giving all these that I doesn't deserve, I hate you!
My first relationship started off well..but ended up like shit. My heart shattered for the second time. Then this time was when I realised how much my dad really loves me. Soon, I became Daddy's girl. In addition, this damn year, Dad was diagnosed with last stage of lung cancer. Freaking news to me.
"You know what dad? the scenes of you waking me up every morning seems like it had just happened few days ago. We had our breakfast together everyday, then you'll send bro and me to school. Why, why the hell it's me, why you? Why?! We lived happily together. Why must god take you away? Leaving a permanent pain in me."

2007, I met my current boyfriend - not perfect and in the stage of going worse.
(Sometimes I wonder, how long can we hang on. I don't feel any love anymore.)
Then after a year or so, Daddy passed on, and that's the end of my World.
No one understands me like how dad does.
I feel intense pain every time I think of him.
I regretted a lot.
I tried very hard to be strong because having swollen eyes everyday wasn't fit me, but I just couldn't stop the tears from falling...he's just too important to me.
How can I ever be happy ever again, why can't daddy just bring me along to wherever you go, I am freaking DEPRESSED do you know? I have been suppressing the pain for too long. Jeff just doesn't understand what I really wants. He just don't. I ... have no more space in my heart to keep all this shits. NO MORE.
Stop killing me.
I am feeling down.
Exhausted.

2009-03-24T23:43:00.002+08:00

Today Jeff and I went to T3 for dinner, we stop by the popeye and ordered their set meals. The food,.. I can say.. it's average.., way too average for the price they charged for. For fast food lovers, I don't think it's worth. Compare to the normal fast food restaurant - KFC, I still prefer KFC's chicken than Popeye's. For Fries, still Mc Donald's the best. Only their mash potato tasted better than others. Conclusion : I will never visit their restaurant anymore.

While walking around T3, we saw a toy shop selling Shinnosuke and he bought one for me~ hehe.. he say this will be part of 2nd anniversary's gift. Darn. SS2. That's all for today.

graduation

2009-03-19T17:35:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, I went to Pulau Tekong with my mom to see my brother's graduation, while in the boat I happen to see this phoenix-looking cloud just on top of the island. The weather was so hot and the graduation ceremony was kinda boring for me.
Anyway, I guess i wont be going to this island anymore, because I will get seasick while sitting in the boat. Oh, it's dinner time, bye~

2009-03-16T23:57:00.002+08:00

This evening, my boyfriend and I went to PS to watch Marley & Me. Woah, we haven been watching movie together for the past 2 months. The show was average, cos the story line was quite common but the show is meaningful. Marley was so hyper-active which I believe not much people can stand it, like me~

I still prefer to have hamsters as pet. Anyway, when Marley was going to die, many people in the cinema cried,...really loud. Though the part is kinda sad but some people can cried till they walk out the cinema. That's what which surprise me. Hmm, there will be more nicer movies coming soon..awaiting~

2009-03-13T23:50:00.002+08:00

‘ 最美的愿望一定最疯狂

我就是我自己的神在我活的地方

我和我最后的倔强握紧双手绝对不放

下一站是不是天堂就算失望不能绝望 ’

Best lyric ever. Thanks to Mayday..

Just received a email from EA, as expected, the sims 3 is going to launch soon. Oh my, I want!.. but I'm saving money for Mayday's concert in August 2009. Anyway, I haven finish collecting my The Sims 2 expansions,..it's quite expensive to buy one by one. What to say.., it's time to save not to spend~!

Rainy day

2009-03-09T16:56:00.003+08:00

Saturday - Sushi making time~
First time making sushi at home... some pictures taken

The End,.. my conclusion was.. I will never make any sushi anymore, it don't really taste as nice as the ones i ate before. Hee, of course la, i am just making for fun.

Today, actually wanted to go for a swim, but when my mom and I want was packing our stuffs, the rain falls. Rain rain rain all day long, irritating. So we change our plan, to the supermarket to buy ingredients for dinner. When we are walking back home, i saw a yellow caterpillar hanging in front my corridor ...

The worm crawl down from my neighbour's plants in the 5th storey. It's the first time I see a yellow caterpillar. Quite nice yeah?.. I mean the color. Hehe..

Green Bean

2009-03-06T22:46:00.002+08:00

My elder brother got his A level result today, hmm, not bad actually, he scored As for his MT, Chemistry, Mathematics and Economics. 4As, i guess this result is way better than mine..if i can see 1 A in my result slip I would have jump to the universe. Hee, this means, it's impossible. Anyway, I am so proud of him, he really done well this time. Dad will be happy for him. Too bad... . ..
Today my mom cooked green bean soup with lots of sago. My favorite~
This pot of green bean soup reminds me the first time i ate daddy's green bean soup. His first time was a failure, it wasn't green bean soup but green bean paste with sago. He added too much beans and sago which led to a green bean paste instead of soup. I was complaining about the "paste" he made, it was too disgusting to consume, in the end, mom had to re-cook another green bean soup to replace dad's.
Dad always boast his fine culinary skills, but i never had a chance to eat any food that he said he can cook. Now i really missed the green bean paste. If i know he will leave us that soon, i should have eaten the whole pot. I would have told him that I love him so much. It's too late.

mtv

2009-03-03T17:28:00.002+08:00

my favorite song - 五月天-夜访吸血鬼

arghs!!!

2009-03-02T21:54:00.002+08:00

Recently, my inconsiderate neighbour are making my life difficult. Every noon and night, the smell of the damn cigarettes really irritates me. I was unable to open the windows in my room everyday thanks to the idiotic person. This person is really trying to kill all the neighbours who lives near him/her with the second-hand smoke. I really hated smokers! They want to kill themselves, and in the same time, they're harming others too, such selfish acts should be stopped. What can i do to stop my neighbour to avoid smoking around us! Hope that the authority will ban people from smoking in HDB estates, especially after 10pm when people need to sleep! Arghs! I am going mad!

2009-02-25T10:53:00.003+08:00

因为考试，我们见面的机会也变得越来越少，不知道是因为很少见到你的幻想，还是这根本是事实。我对你已感到非常厌倦，你何时才会发现我们之间的距离，已经到了无法弥补的地步。不知道是因为你永远也不打算改你的坏习惯，每次想给你惊喜却会变成无知的举动让我因为这样的愚蠢而感到厌倦。你总是以为我在开玩笑但我并不是因为这样的你感到厌倦。
或者是因为自从爸去世了，我跟珍惜亲情的可贵，觉得再多的爱也没有用我不想再后悔不想在失去你会明白吗？因该不会吧，拥有父母的爱，是不会了解失去的痛，不会了解我在忍耐的痛。
你的父母给你的，你也不会珍惜总是觉得这是理所当然父母的辛苦他们的痛你从不会去了解，在怎么狠狠地骂你也没有用。
所以我已经明白了既然你不会做出改变
我也不会再去理会

2009-02-21T16:02:00.001+08:00

Yes! 终于解脱了疯狂世界。从这一刻开始新的人生，我要出发了！

2404

2009-02-18T00:45:00.001+08:00

Can i go......

Chinese New Year

2009-01-24T17:20:00.002+08:00

Soon, it'll be chinese new year again, but this year's new year will be different from the previous years I had celebrated. From this year onwards, my Chinese new year no longer have the word "Happy" in front of it. No longer happy.
In school, in class, anywhere now, everyone is talking about CNY, but I wasn't, cause, I'll never ever celebrate this day anymore, without you.
Today, I stood in front of your tablet, pray... hoping that you can have happiness.
Half a year have passed.
Daddy, where're you ?
We're here, missing you.
Tomorrow is mom's birthday.
You will wish her "Happy Birthday" right?
I love you dad.

STAYREAL

2009-01-17T00:09:00.002+08:00

Yeah! I finally got my Stay Real T-shirt from Taiwan, thanks to my boyfriend's brother. THANK YOU NICKY =). I love it very much. Thanks for the help. I still love the HP strap most, it's nice..., too bad the shirts that i really adores are all out of stock- sad. Ashin! please supply more stocks to your store, don't let customers like us to be disappointed ma. hee. anyway, the shirt above with a paper aeroplane logo, I intend to sell it, cos I don't really like the color. It's in size S, girl cutting, IT'S BRAND NEW, just bought it from Taiwan, original price is NT 980, So I'll be selling it at $45. If interested, tag me please. I am only selling that shirt. Any questions? Tag me too.=)

Imagination

2009-01-12T22:15:00.002+08:00

一直幻想自己拥抱着
咬紧牙关忍着心痛
心在流泪在孤单
你是成经给我温暖的
在等待也不见你回头
回忆停留在这里
幻想自己的快乐
幻想你那灿烂的笑容
我活着因为承诺

2009-01-10T15:46:00.004+08:00

五月天签名会 05.01.2009

Photos taken during Mayday autograph session, most of the photos I upload here is taken by my phone. So the quality isn't that good, though I had a very good position hee, most of the picture I took is ashin, no choice, cos i love him! oh yeah~ =)

This is taken by zerene -(her best's shot =D)

It's going to be my turn for signing! hee

I love this photo, except for the head.Idoit.

Taken from the 2nd floor.

Ashin!

Masa

Stone and Monster

I am kinda lazy to post so much photos, so I'll stop here..

Having exam next monday and haven study! Mad man. I gtg. bye!

五月天 - 噢買尬 MV

五月天 - 笑忘歌

噢買尬噢買尬!

2009-01-05T22:40:00.012+08:00

Mayday Concert at Stadium Green - Singapore Indoor Stadium 04.01.2009, Time:8.17pm-10.34pm
Yesterday I went for Mayday concert with Zerene, we reach there around 10.40am and waited all the way till 8.17pm. Very paitence right? Oh man, we almost broke our feets by standing there so long. Never mind, it's worth, because Mayday really performed well..! Too bad my camera ran out of space, so I used my phone to shoot every photo I can, yet, the quality is really disappointing. Anyway, professional cameras is not allowed, so even if I own a DSLR, I am not able to bring it there. I was kinda relief when Ashin(lead singer)'s voice came out to be alright. Unlike what the nasty comments made during the count down. Even if they're so tired and sick, they still make an effort to perform for their audiences, if you don't praise just shut up, don't have to make negative comments. I love ashin, his vocal rocks =). Monster did really well while playing his instrutment, aiya, overall, everyone of them did well, too bad Guan you (Drummer) never come to Singapore because of personal reason, but I still hope he can stay happy.
Mayday! Thanks for letting us to enjoy your concert free, cos I really can't afford your concert ticket. ( My mom will kill me if i buy) Sorry!
Enjoy the photos i took yesterday.=) (but sorry for the lousy quality)

Today, Zerene and I went for their autograph session, but I don't have the time to upload so many things, so.. perhaps I'll update it later, within this week. Zerene, be paitence! hehe =) . Oh ya, thanks for accompanying me there. I love you!! (eew) hehe

0101.2009

2009-01-01T01:46:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year to All!

Year 2009 have just reached about 2 hours ago..Today I went to Suntec City with my boyfriend today and met his friends before going to watch the fireworks.

Was really tiring for me today, woke up since 5.30am and till now I haven sleep..it's okay, at least I'm home..so while waiting for my hair to get dry, I come to update my blog.

Photos below are taken during the 10-13mins of firework.

The shots aren't really that nice, because I'm using a camera phone, but still, enjoy~

Today's also my 21st month anniversary with my boyfriend.

Time flies so fast..it's going to be our 2nd year anniversary.=). That prove that I'm a faithful type of person right? heee.

Anyway, best wishes to all, have a happy new year..bless you all~ =D.

That's all, ta-ta~

christmas 2008

2008-12-29T22:49:00.002+08:00

Grr.. I'm suppose to upload some photos i took for christmas but the loading just doesn't work. Today's first day of school after the 2 weeks term break, so sleepy. I manage to sleep throughout the ride to and from school. haha, cool right?
2 more days to Year 2009.
I can't bear to leave Year 2008.., because there were too much memories...that are unforgettable.
6 days..to Mayday concert! Oh yeah! I've been awaiting for this.. =D

Daddy, I still remember the photos u took with mom beside our own little christmas tree. This year's christmas.. we are here without you. I miss you so much........................
Daddy, when can I ever call you Daddy again? I miss calling u daddy.
Please do bless mom and brothers will be healthy..always...
I don't want to lose anyone in my family anymore.
Daddy, from 2009 onwards, no one will celebrate new year with us anymore. No more relatives and friends in Singapore. How i wish we can just emigrate.
Daddy, I 've too much to tell you.........
Daddy....daddy....d..a.dd...y..
Merry christmas and Happy New Year to you.

23 December 08

2008-12-23T21:11:00.003+08:00

My New Samsung Pixon Phone.

It's a gift from my BF for my 18th birthday. Though it's a very late present, but i still love it very much.. =)

I haven been changing my phone for almost 2 years, it's time for me to keep my P850 well....

Hmm, ever since i came back from Malaysia, I have been slacking all day long for these days, I haven even finish my effective writing project.., man. I must wake up now! hee.

Now, i should enjoy my new phone hehe.

Malaysia Trip

2008-12-20T18:50:00.009+08:00

My holiday in Malaysia, Ipoh

Day 1 Sunday

Like usual, I go visit my relatives in Ipoh.

My grandma brought us to a coffee shop nearby for breakfast.

Ipoh's Chicken Shredded Hor Fun ( Damn delicious) =)
Prawn noodle ( This is what I've been craving for years!)

My uncle's shop where they produce their products.

Day 2 Monday
I just love Ipoh's food, they tasted much better than Singapore's..,but you won't be able to taste all this delicacies if you're going there with tour. =D.
Dim Sum! Though this is not the best in Ipoh, but it really tasted good!

This black puppy is my uncle's new dog. Her name is fei mui zai ( fatty girl). She is a active and cute dog. I miss her so much.

Day 3 Tuesday
This is where I've been staying for the whole week in Ipoh.

My uncle new house. It cost around rm 200k. Cheap yeah? We can never buy such a house in Singapore with this amount of money. Envy man.

This is one of the best curry noodle you can find in Ipoh. It tasted really good, the smell of the curry will make people drool! hehe.

Haha, this is me and my younger brother, we're bored so... photo taking! =)

Day 4 Wednesday

My uncle says this is the lion mountain, the mountain with the shape of 2 lions.

Chay guay tiao!.. Hmm, I don't really think that it is delicious, but it's still okay.

This is the view from cousin's house.

My brother was trying to help out while my mom and grandma was decorating their new house's garden, and my brother found these little babies rat under the stacked pots.

Aren't they cute?.. but now, they're dead already...i guess.

We found frog and toad while arranging the pots in the garden. So, i took a shot.

This the hole i dug, my brother was trying to shit there. haha.

close view of the baby rat.

Side view of the rat

Day 5 Thursday

My family and I went down to KL with my aunt.She is our tour guide for 2 days as she have been staying there for years.

Monorail in KL

Day 6 Sunway lagoon

Nono, we didn't enter Sunway Lagoon, we are just at Sunway Pyramid.

This is the far view of sunway lagoon

The 2 towers of KL

That day, I went for ice skating at Sunway Pyramid, that's my first time playing ice skate, and i guess i fell in love with it. Haa.

That's the end of my trip to Malaysia. hee. I am very lazy to edit or post this blog, because it's kinda long. That's all, hope you enjoyed it.=)

term break

2008-12-15T16:44:00.002+08:00

Today will be my 3rd day in Malaysia,Ipoh perak.
My mom's from malaysia, so we always get to go Ipoh.
Ipoh is a food paradise, I haven been going back since 2 years ago, when my dad fall sick.
Anyway, I finally got the chance to use my cousin's computer..so I update my "dead" blog.
To Joyce : *Sorry ah, i didn't manage to use computer for this whole week as my time is kinda tight. So, I revive my dead blog now! =D haha.
To Zerene : I am still trying to get use to my live here, I missed my television and pillows. haaa.Don't worry, I'll get you the biscult, just that I am not sure whether it is correct or not. Please like it..!!
I have been eating supper these days, so worry that I'll grow damn fat.
Hmm, anyway, I finally can leave my hectic life in Singapore. Woohoo..term break rocks.
(But, soon..I'll go back school again -.-)
**Dear, I know you'll never read my blog, sorry that I am unable to reply you so often, anyway,I misss you so much, take care of my hamster well!! =)

2008-12-03T20:59:00.002+08:00

Today I sacrifice my accounting tutorial and queued 2 hours and 15 minutes for this.

Yes! It's Mayday ticket for their miniature concert on 4 Jan 2009.

Oh man, I loved NYP for just once. HEE..

I am awaiting for that day..can't wait to see their performance.

Hmm, recently have been flooded by projects and more projects. Sometimes I really hated projects, occupies most of my time in a week, but no choice, I got to try finish it before school hoilday which begins on 15 December 2008 till 28 December 2008. I am going back to Ipoh for 8days. I haven't been going back for 2 years, ever since dad was sick.

Today my elder brother went in National Service, phew, kinda relieve yet, worry.

I guess my brother's mental illness haven't fully recover, once I heard that he say he will kill himself in army camp with his gun, I am so worry about him. He's just so immature, making us living in fear, he's just like a monster in my house, which is so violent that no one dares to talk to him. How I wish Dad is around, so at least someone can talk to him...

DAD I MISS YOU!!!

m a y d a y

2008-11-28T13:02:00.003+08:00

春天的吶喊

Another MV by Mayday.

超cool 的

五月天，加油！好期待下个新期三哦my天. haa.

Happy 21

2008-11-22T11:45:00.003+08:00

It's Saturday again! Time flies so fast, dad have left us for 4 months. sobs.
This few weeks are having ICA, got to abandon my leisure time to study. I got to score well this time, prove to Dad that i can! There is nothing much to talk about for these few weeks. So ZERENE, please don't say i abandon my blog! I always update if I got the time. =D.
Today is my Gerald kor's 21 birthday! Happy birthday to you~
Woah, we have know each other since how many years back, seeing you filled with happiness with your relationship with joyce, I am happy for you. I mean, happy for both of you. =)
Sorry, I didn't have a present for you. x), but still, hope that you'll be happy forever.
Once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, GERALD KOR.

Quit

2008-11-13T21:02:00.002+08:00

Since school reopen, I have been breathing more second hand smoke than ever. Every morning while walking in the school from Block N, I will always breathe in those smokers' cigarette smoke. Oh man, this is not enough, my stupid neighbour smoke everyday and cause my room to be filled of that yucky smell. Irritated.
Can your smokers find somewhere where there are only people of your same kind before you smoke, it doesn't mean that you love to smoke mean that people around can accept you smoking away beside them. It is a logic that smoking cause lung cancer, if smokers ever got that, it's okay, cause you make that happen, but those people who tries so hard to avoid smokers want to save their own life from getting cancer from breathing in second hand smoke, why can't you people just be considerate...?!
I lost my dad due to lung cancer, and that's why I am damn sensitive to smokers. My dad have been breathing in second hand smoke since he was a small kid. Thanks to smokers, I lost my dad,...so please fuck off from my life.

18

2008-11-12T16:30:00.003+08:00

09 November 2008
My 18th birthday.
Simple, yet unforgetable.

My miniture birthday cakes
and, My presents for the day.

Dear bought this for me. From Australia.

First bouquet of flower from my boy! hehe

The first person to send me a greeting(apart from my boyfriend), is someone i knew since secondary 1. The only old friend in the same school yet different course.

I remembered the first day i met her in class, she sat next to me, she was very quiet all along..kinda difficult to make friend with her..haa. (That was the past ok!, to you). Though all these years we are always in the same class, so close, yet, i never celebrate my birthday with her before,..not even this year..but she'll always be my best friend. =D. Tomorrow is her turn to be 18. I would like to say : " RUIQIN HAPPY 18 BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!"

突然

2008-11-07T18:17:00.002+08:00

突然好想你-五月天

听着这首歌让我想起亲爱的你

。。

每次闭上眼睛你的画面如此清楚

那么温柔又温馨

突然好想你

无论在努力的掩盖在努力的快乐在努力的忘记

为什么悲伤一直跟着我

在大怀的笑还是那么伤

我不快乐不开心好想你

2008-10-29T21:59:00.003+08:00

YES! I got it, Mayday 7th album,...yesterday I didn't manage to get it at Bedok because their stock came in very late, so I went to Parkway to buy it.

In the album, there's a free ticket for Mayday's performance on January 2009...but chey, need to go exchange one, it means not 100% can get to their performance..sobs.

Ashin rock!

5

2008-10-27T22:32:00.003+08:00

Yawn, I am so sleepy..I still got pile of homeworks undone.
Yesterday Mayday performed at "Jing chu jiang" oh man, so regretted that I never go..sobs..
Next Sunday will be my 18th birthday, I wonder who will remember.. nah, who cares.
I don't care who remember, that day will always remembered by my dad. This 18 years I never celebrate my birthday before.
Dad was always so busy.

Hais.
I hate all these unfortunate things happening around me, why can't just leave me alone.

2008-10-25T13:21:00.002+08:00

五月天《你不是真正的快樂》MV
Yo! I am back, 1 week have passed again.

Sad to say, my wednesday's timetable was changed, no longer can go home after 12pm. Oh man, i hate it. Change to a happier topic,Mayday had release their album this week, but I still don't have the time to get it, never mind, I will buy it later. Another MV by mayday..,must support them if u really love mayday, ashin used a lot of his time to create all the songs in their 7th album. 7th album= 700days.

Currently, I don't really have much things to update cos most of the time i'll be in school. Sunday will be my dad's 100 days. hais. Time flies so fast without you by our side, Dad, what i had promise you,i'll still do it. Dad, I missed the times when you always bring me around with your car. That is the most memorable memories that we shared, only you and me.

Addiction

2008-10-19T17:27:00.002+08:00

Jay Chou- 给我一首歌的时间

From Jay's Capricorn Album.

This week, my blog gotta be full or MVs .

That is because 2 of my favorite singers have released their lastest album~

Enjoy the mv + songs.

Jay chou- 说好的幸福呢

Jay Chou- 稻香

Nice ? Support Original~ =D

2008-10-17T18:00:00.001+08:00

Mayday五月天 “开天窗”

Currently, I'm addicted to a taiwanese rock band, named : Mayday.

Especially the lead singer, ashin! Oh my god, he's charming, and I am falling in love with him. haha. Though I always supported mayday since long time ago, but recently I find them getting more attractive than before. YES! Next week they are launching their lastest album~! I must buy it! haha.

青春期的詩 -> Their lastest album's title! Support them. I must say, they are a very talented band.

五月天- 出头天 This is their 1st version of the mv,without editing.
Ashin so cute! hhee.

Finally, I have finished the 1st week of school days. How i wish i can stop time, so i can always have holidays. ICA 1 will be coming real soon, one word to describe this situation - BORING!

I must do really well in my exams this time, i lost too much marks in the previous semester. Yes! i can, i will do well.

blogblog

2008-10-09T13:13:00.005+08:00

I just came back from Tiong Bahru Plaza with my mom.
It's so boring there, I went there with her for a job interview in the early morning, and yet she say she's not satisfy with the job conditions there. Whatever! A wasted trip.
2 days ago I watched "Painted Skin" with my boyfriend.
I must say, the movie is really nice..because i like to watch "liao zhai"

And Donnie Yen is so cool in the show, shuai dai le. haha.
You know what? My boyfriend actually got shocked until he shake the chairs so hard, and i think he didn't realise that i found out. heee.
It's kinda scary at first but in the end, it's just the crying part.
Especially when zhao wei's husband say "I'll kill her is she is a demon, but as her husband, I can't just leave her like this."
I think the sentence is something like that, can't really remember.
That part is so touching, hehe, it's difficult to find a man who can really stay loyal to his own wife nowadays....

My boyfriend is a exception! hehe
BYE~

2008-10-02T00:13:00.002+08:00

1 Year 6 Months Anniversary

Happy Hari Raya Puasa to all Muslim

Today I went to Suntec City with my boyfriend.

Was suppose to go pick up my brother's pant from Joyce* NOTICE* yet she had forgotten it again. Never mind, she is really very forgetful. So around 5.30pm we went to Fish & Co to have our early dinner. Yeah~ calamari! My favourite starter...and we have ordered "The best fish & chip in town" and " Sweet and sour fish"..lastly we order the sharkie froze.

I love Fish & Co, their fishes is really nice, but i hated salmon, not because of the way they cooked it, it is because i really hated salmon fish, I just don't like the taste, so I only have a few choice to pick. Overall, I do like Suntec's Fish & Co. =D

Next, we went to the car show at Suntec Convention.

The car in white is the car which and drive into the sea or ocean or river, anything that is filled with water. The car is really small in size and the design is cool, but i wonder who will buy that car as I think Singapore will not allow a car to drive in water yeah?

The Red car is Nissan GTR, haha, that's the car my bf said he want his dad to buy for him....(and that will never happen), next photo .. my bf is sitting in a driver seat of a Subaru, but he was being forced to sit in just to take me take a photo of him..., last car : A Black Laborgini..? Nice? haha, it seems to be kinda common recently,..more people are getting richer nowadays.

Lastly, my boyfriend chose this car...errs.. i mean truck. haha, cos he seems to like it very much. What a nice shot~

Final day of F1 Grand Prix

2008-09-30T23:54:00.002+08:00

YoooHo~! Sorry for the late update of 28 September 2008 because i was very tired after working and the next day i was being lazy, so i update it today.
Sunday - A wonderful weather for F1, no more scorching hot, no wet seats.
BUT...a number of car skidded or even smashed onto the road block.
One word to describe the skidding part - SKIOK ! haha.
Nah..Just kidding, was kinda shocked at first, but get used to it later. I guess all the drivers who skidded didn't get serious injury. OH YA. Lewis got in 3rd~ hoho.
I supported Mercedes~
I have some photos to show, but due to the lousy phone camera i am holding, the picture wasn't that nice to see,but still...enjoy~ !

B6 Padang is the Grandstand where i worked for. The place where I have bonds with my colleagues. Some place that I'll never forget.

The picture was taken from the gigantic screen in front of Padang B Grandstand. I could only take from the screen in order to take some shots of the Porsche Asia Cup. (Anyway, this is the back of the cars)
This is taken during the race.., one of the Porsche skidded and another had his bumper dropped out. So unlucky.
HAHA, i know, it's lame.. but this is part of my uniform.
Can see the little tents in the photos? There'are the merchandise and F&B area.
Final Photo of The Grandstand I am working at.

That's the end.Bye bye

Burned Out

2008-09-26T23:35:00.004+08:00

Today is the first day of Singtel Singapore Grand Prix.

From 7am early this morning, it started raining heavily. I went out at 8am to Bedok MRT station.

The MRT station was packed with people due to the faulty problems with the ez-link card machines and the MRT. Luckily i still reach Gate 7 in time, and .. too early still.

I waited from 8.40am till 9.15am before i got the chance to tap in. Then i met my friend at gate 7 and went to the Padang Station where we're suppose to meet up our group. We walked all the way under the rain to Padang with no shelter which cause us to be 70% wet.

Luckily we have caps provided unlike the ticketing staffs, so at least we are kinda lucky in some way. From 9.30am-10.30am is our waiting time under the rain,then we were led to the basement of esplanade for our lunch..oh man, that lunch really don't taste good. hehe. I was stationed at Padang B6. And that photo above was taken while i am standing on the last floor of Padang Grandstand.

And this is how my work place looked like.

Most of my customers today are foreigners, and i must say..most of them are really friendly.

From 2pm - 4pm was the most suffering period thanks to the scorching sun after the heavy rain. Both of hands are 3/4 sunburned.

Oh ya..lastly I forgot to say, I am working as Usher in 2008 Formula 1.

Wasn't paid highly, yet, quite enjoyable because the colleagues there are quite friendly and the customers are polite.

The race was LOUD.

Haha, i guess lots of people can hear the sound just by standing around Suntec City or Bugis.

Before i go home, I served a sir to his seat and who knows his friend was Mr hew! My Economic teacher~ he say he will be there 3 days, so.. i guess i will see him 3 times too. haa.

My boyfriend was so jealous*

Because he keep saying other people paid to go in just to watch the F1 cars, yet i am being paid to watch the F1 cars. Haaa.

Nice! I made him really jealous this time.

And....today's most exciting part was when a white Porsche drifted a round and stopped the car suddenly as the driver was driving way too fast. Luckily he never bang into the bold rock walls. Porsche is a beautiful car, it's suppose to admire and drive nicely, not to bang to the wall..haha. Never mind, the safety of the driver is the most important, it's good to not see him bang..., hope he will drive carefully tomorrow. God bless....

Disappointment

2008-09-22T22:43:00.003+08:00

*64 days after your departure*
Dad, i hugged you real tight.. in my dream..did you feel it..?
Sorry i ask you not to leave me.
Sorry Dad, you may go. As far as you can. Don't you ever stop .. walking away from us
Don't look at us.
You should let go.
So do I...
Our promises will carve real deep in my heart...but dad, till now..I failed you. Sorry.
I have seen her cry again, I am sorry I am not that good to share her burden. I tried, and still trying...
3 more days to Singapore GP.
Kinda nervous..cos we are only briefly brief. haha. I merely don't understand what the fish she's talking. I only know, if got any big problems inform the manager or supervisor. haha. Confusing.
I saw some ex-bnss working there too..but different group from me.SOBS. heee.
Hope that I won't lost my way while working nor get sun burned.
Oh ya... yesterday's briefing session, while our group is at Esplanade area, got a palm size grasshopper came out from no where, and land on the hand of the girl in front of me...and she don't even take a look at what's that before smashing it. Gosh..., so gross.
I kept imagining..is the grasshopper really smashed? It'll be kinda bloody..haha.
I am not awaiting for 26 september .. haaa. It'll be boring. (Hope not)

2008-09-13T14:29:00.002+08:00

56 of 100 days.
老爸 52岁生日快乐
真遗憾，从今年开始再也不能和你一起过生日了
老爸，今天你的老板带了几个人来看车
看来你的车会被卖掉了，真舍不得
你也离开我们这么久了，我还是无法接受你一不在的实施
我烧了一张卡给你，不知道你会不会收到。
回想起一前，每次和你一起过生日时.....那么快乐
那样简简单单的生日派队....真让人怀念
我好想你啊老爸

It's a part and parcel of my life.

2008-09-04T20:01:00.004+08:00

48 of 49 days
Tomorrow will be dad's 49th day.
Hais....
I still can't believe he's gone...it's still so difficult to believe.
Every night i will look at his photos in my phone.
I wanted to cry so badly, but I'm worried that mum will see...
I dreamt of dad yesterday.
I hugged him so tightly..worrying that he will leave me again.
Why dad looked so healthy in my dream?
How i wish this dream is reality.
How i wish time can turn back.

I still remember there's once i sprained my left feet while I'm still working part-time at Bugis.
Every night, when i reached home, dad will take the chinese medicine and massage my feet for me because he know that i don't dare to go see the chinese doctor.
Dad will always wait for me to return home before he sleeps.
He sometimes will wait at my block's down stair for me to return home as he know that I'm scare of dark.
This all happened this year.
It's just within a year. I got his love ... and .. i also lost him.
Refer back to my blog, on march 2008
I said i missed my brother's birthday celebration due to work.
Actually that day my in-charge don't allow me to go home, but somehow i felt that, that might be the last time we have a birthday celebration of a whole family.
So i almost cried out when she don't allow me to go home, only after my colleague persuaded her, she then gave me the permission to go home. I was so delighted, but still i missed it and it indeed became the last birthday celebration we can celebrate together with dad.
Next week, dad's car will be returning to his boss.
As this car is useless to us without dad. Since the boss bought it for him, now he's gone, we shall return.
I'll miss this car so bad.
After all, it contained lots of memories.
If i can, i wished to buy this car from his boss... too bad i couldn't drive.
Dad use this car to fetch me to school every morning, from secondary 4 to 5. Too much memories.

03 September 2008
My boyfriend's 20th birthday.
I bought him a 21cm strawberry shortcake.
(It's bcos he's a glutton)

Hehee, now than i realise my phone can make this effect while taking photo.
So i took one with my dear.
At marina square, after dinner.
We went to paris at MS for dinner.
HAHA, paris again.
We went there last year during my birthday.
Actually we wanted to go swisshotel to eat, but after taking a look, i think their foods don't really look nice.

Nokia 6500 (black)
This is the birthday present i bought for my dear, though it's not a expensive present, but still, he love it very very much. haha. (Good~)

Happy birthday to you my dear!

A dream that never come true.

2008-08-26T11:30:00.002+08:00

37 of 49 days.
Soon, these 49 days will be over, and dad will never come home anymore.
Yesterday i dreamt of dad again....
Ever since he passed away, i have always been dreaming about him.
He looked so healthy in my dream.
Still kicking alive
I was so happy when i see him again, but i will always wonder will this moment lasts...
The conclusion is ..... No.. it didn't.. once i wake up from my sleep.. dad's gone..,but yesterday's dream is weird..i saw dad below the building i was at..he was calling me to go home as it was very late at night already. He walked weakly back to the house he came out from. I feel that something bad was about to happen..so i quickly went down to find him...but no matter how i run... i just can't reach him...and soon after, i woke up from my dream..
Only in my dream, I can still see dad.
When i woke up, he's permantly gone.
I missed you so much dad.... so much..

20 August 2008

2008-08-20T22:48:00.002+08:00

31 of 49, 31 of 100days.

Today.., reminds me about 1 month ago.
20/07/08 12.15am..
Dad's last breathe.
It has been a month since he passed away.
It seems like as if he just passed away last week.
I still missed him so much..
Dad, im still waiting for you to come back home.

We used to watch television all day long ...
You'll always criticise those taiwan stupid dramas...and you will always watch those "Wu xia" serials.
Since you passed away...no one watches that anymore.
I missed the time when i lie on your thigh while you chat with ah ma.
I missed the time when we chatted about the recent news.
I still cried because i missed you too much.
Dad..
I love you..

One more exam paper to go.Wish me good luck! Weee~

10/8/2008

2008-08-10T11:19:00.002+08:00

21 of 49 days. 21 of 100 days.
Happy belated birthday to Singapore~

Yesterday's fireworks were really nice!..i didn't catch it in live, but instead on the television.
It's nice to watch from the tv because you don't have to squeeze in the crowded place just to watch bit and piece of the fireworks.
080808 is a bad day for me i guess.
Seems like i didn't do really well for my IT & web technology.
I guess i got to repeat this module yeah? As i can't save the results already.
Perhaps my group members wasn't that happy with my performance,yeah, i agreed.
This is fairness, i understand.
I just feel hopeless for myself.

Why i always feel so depressed after you have gone.
Everything seems to go in the wrong direction without you.
Mum still couldn't get used to the life without you.
I guess, i myself also can't.
People around us always want to make our life difficult.
So what if we live in a jumbo flat...?
So what if we have the insurance..?
So what if we have some money left by you?
They simply can't understand..
Money cannot exchange a life.
Money cannot make you come back.
We all rather we are broke.
Just to extend your life and fate with us.
And ONE thing...
Money is not forever.

How i wish you are here.
So people will not bully us.
I WANT THEM GET RETRIBUTION !
THEY MUST ALL DIE WITH YOU!

Waraku~

2008-08-03T15:17:00.004+08:00

3 August 2008
14 of 49 ; 14 0f 100.
Happy birthday to you my brother.
So sorry that we can't celebrate with you,because ... you know right?
Never mind, your sweet sister have already ordered a creative mp3 from MS, and that will be your birthday present. =)
2 August 08
My bf brought me to Waraku Japanese Restuarant to eat, to "mi bu" our 16 months anni.

BBQ beef slices with raw egg + Rice + miso soba
It's boiling~~!
Dear's Grilled Salmon
HEE.

Hehe, I've a nice time there,nice meal =D.

Thanks my dear.

Happy 16 months anni to you too.

Imperfection

2008-08-01T22:33:00.003+08:00

01 August 2008, The 1st day of hungry ghost festival, the 16 months with my BF.
12 of 49 ; 12 of 100.
My life is currently in a mess.
DAD! CAN YOU HEAR ME?! SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL !!!!!

Though it's our 16 months, but i don't feel happy anymore.
It's not because we're not in love..., it's because i just lost my heart.

我知道我留不住你
我知道有一天你可能就这样走掉
我知道放开手但不知道这么忘掉
你走掉的每一份每一秒，是这么难熬
你就这样不回头
等待又等待，根沉默的等待
时时泪如雨下
带着对你的承诺我拼命咬紧牙关
再次拿起已失去温度的双手
独自行走
就让我们的回忆定在那里
永别了，爸

People kill me pls.

2008-07-24T18:32:00.002+08:00

I'm seeking for death

Dad,

The memories of you and I, was here.....in my heart.

Today i have a really bad day.

I really have had enough.

I really tolerate enough.

My heart is broken ; my soul left me long time ago...

I am 100% anti-social - that's the main reason why this 18 years of mine, i have so little friends.

I once tried very hard to be sociable, but i failed.

Because of the experiences i had, i know how to see people's character.

Bad friends and good friends.

I am too good to differeciate this.

I lost trust.

I lost confidence.

I lost my heart.

And now,...i lose you.

I do envy people in polytechnic have big bunch of friends..how i wish i can be them, but i just can't.

People do not accept who i am, nor i do accept people for what they are.

This 18 years, i have been through all these hard times, but it's when i have your love.

I was being betrayed by my bestest friends.

I was being betrayed by my first boyfriend.

I was always the one being neglected in class.

Always the one being neglected .......

Do i really look invisable? Dad?

Why don't you just come and take me away with you.

Life in this World isn't that good.

Isn't good at all.

I hated my school.

I hated my life.

I hated my fate.

I hated everything.

Suicidal is the best choice i can make.

But i can't leave mum alone.

I can't bear to.

Dad, help me..

Come back..

Last Good-bye

2008-07-22T19:27:00.002+08:00

Day 2 of 49 / Day 2 of 100
Today is the last day of my dad's funeral.
He's ash is now place in the temple, same as my grandfather.
Today we sent him off about 10am + at mandai.
Today will be the last time i see my dad face to face, i'll never be able to see him in my life anymore.
Till now, i still can't believe my dad is gone.
From today onwards...
Nobody will talk about history with me ;
No warm hugs from daddy;
No more chance to call lao pa! ;
No one protect me when korkor bully me.

For 2 days I haven really been at home.
Now sitting at our sofa, every corners of the house reminds me of you.
Dad, you know the scariest distance between you and us ... is the World we live in is different.
Dad, how are you?
How is the place you are in?
Can you see or hear us?
Can you feel how much we missed you?
Do you still feel pain?

Sorry that we didn't cry while we're at your wake.
We are pretending to be strong.
Pretending to be strong so that mum will not fall.
Fall into depression
I am so tired.
I missed the times when you hold my hand tight.
You know what Dad?
Grandma cried so bitterly today ; so do i.
Today when we're picking your bones, i really can't believe that i am actually holding yours bones.

Dad, you know what... nothing can ever ever replace you in my heart. You're my sweetest dad ever.
How i wish our fate is longer.
Never mind, hope that next life, we'll be father & daughter.
I love you dad..

My heart is bleeding.
A scar that can never be remove.

20 july 2008, 12.17am

2008-07-20T00:19:00.002+08:00

Day 6, saddest moments of my life.
12.16am of my time, the nurse from the hospice just called.
My dad passed away ... 20 July 2008 12.16am.
About 10 minutes ago, she told us my dad's breathing is slowing down.
Now, my dad passed away.
Good that he finally get away from suffering and pain..
The bad news.. i lost my dad. Today... phew, i remember during 2pm+ - 6.15pm, my mom, korkor and me was with him, he was coughing and coughing,the last sentence i told him was..., tml we'll come see you again dad, now are going home,okay? bye -bye. ..
I don't know why, after receiving this call, i don't feel anything...i didn't cry nor .... i don't know.
No matter what i will not forget you dad,rest in peace.

永远的痛

Random

Let me be

fck

christmas 2009

Back to me.

pasta

Selling!

little misha

Happy 19~

Pain

Satisfied

Editing of blog!

Faat.

Memory

53

=.=

21st Birthday

Dna concert

1 day!

Freedom*

Exam Freak!

Concert

D.N.A.

Red

...

stranded

20.07.2009

tired

Dad

泪

对不起

TS3

rice~

123

Singlehood.

Drowned

Random

Mayday

graduation

Rainy day

Green Bean

mtv

arghs!!!

2404

Chinese New Year

STAYREAL

Imagination

噢買尬 噢買尬!

0101.2009

christmas 2008

23 December 08

Malaysia Trip

term break

m a y d a y

Happy 21

Quit

18

突 然

5

Addiction

blogblog

Final day of F1 Grand Prix

Burned Out

Disappointment

It's a part and parcel of my life.

A dream that never come true.

20 August 2008

10/8/2008

Waraku~

Imperfection

People kill me pls.

Last Good-bye

20 july 2008, 12.17am

噢買尬噢買尬!

突然