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:永远的痛:

Sunday, March 23, 2008

23/3/2008. I am officially JOBLESS! haha. I quited my job today. If i say i won't miss GG<5 class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">wendy, they are my good colleagues, we share jokes , we laughed together,chit chat in a corner.... i will miss the times.Not forgetting my kind in-charge Yean.She is someone i respect the most in GG<5.>
Of course there're still Ruby and Moon. Treat me so well that make me can't bear to go. Sorry, i must make this decision as i really need time for my family. Today when i was going off, they gave me some gifts as my farewell token, so touched,but sorry ah, no tear is shed. hehe. I will drop by there anytime when i am free okay? Promise. hehe. Next, i should spend all my time with mum and dad, and my jeffry komala. hehe. Our 1 year anniversary is coming up,awaiting! hehe ......



* Get well soon dad.Love you.
Ru

我爱你 froze in time on 3/23/2008 11:57:00 PM

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Today, i had the worst news in my life.
My dad's cancer cells have spread till his brain, 3-cm.
Brain + Lung cancer.
What's next? Hope?
I am beginning to give up hope too....When my mum tell me the news over the phone while i'm on my way home from work,i was stun. Still couldn't react to her. I am sad, but i just cannot cry,perhaps i had enough, all these months i have already depressed by my dad's illness. His cancer cells always grow smaller , than bigger again, keep on repeating and repeating. 1 year have passed, but nothing is getting better, instead, it's becoming worst.
How can i still cling onto Hope.
My life is really like a story, when i watch the TV programs showing their actors or actress got cancer, it's so fake, how can a cancer patient eat whatever they want ? Nobody knows how i feel, unless someone you loved have this experience before. That's the reason why i hated Jeff to smoke, hated his friends always smokes around us. If you smokers want to die earlier,please, leave us alone,i cannot tolerant people smoking around me, i cannot let any of my loved ones to fall sick anymore, no more please....
All i want now is seeing dad's smiles.
I want him to stay happy even though his illness is terrible already.


"You've always make me proud of you DAD, i love you.."

我爱你 froze in time on 3/20/2008 06:55:00 PM

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

hoho,here i'm to update my blog.
I just came back from my 2 day 1 night stay at Jeff's class chalet,at Safra Country Club there ( i guess so). That place is so beautiful.haha.No wonder the renting for the chalet is high too,but anyway,it's worth it la. The night i had over there is terrible,because i keep rolling left and right,but i just couldn't fall asleep.Maybe it's too cramp le,but no choice,cos chalet is like this.While we're trying to catch some sleep,our next door was having Singing session and the people downstairs were playing PS2, hhahaa, their laughter is something that i couldn't forget,soooo loud.haha. No choice i finally given up sleeping and went downstair to find my Jeff.His eyes is actually redish,but he said he don't want to sleep yet,cos he wanted to sleep downstair,instead of upstair's bedroom,but he ended up sleeping in the same room as me,but we slept on the cold floor.So cold till i can't sleep that well.At that point of time,i really missed my bed at home,so cozy. haha. I guess i can't sleep anywhere other than my own bed.
Actually,this may be the last gathering they can have,when our schools starts,we will have lesser chance to meet.Hope that we guys will still keep in contact even though our schools are different. ohhh.My eyes are red, i can't stand it anymore,i gotta sleep,good night!

我爱你 froze in time on 3/19/2008 12:23:00 AM

Monday, March 3, 2008

man,i am down with flu once again,maybe is due to the rain in the morning while i am walking to work.Today is another cold day for us,raining plus extra cold air con at Bugis Junction.Again not much customers today...but finally,tommorrow is our last day of sales.
Today is my elder brother's 19 birthday,but i didn't manage to get a present for you-so sorry.
Neither do i attend your little celebration at home,due to work.
Though my kind in charge let me go early,but i still missed it.When i reach home,kor is studying hard for tommorrow's exam,and dad is asleep already.
This morning,dad bought mum and me our breakfast.He was telling my mum, don't always treat him like a normal person,he said he really can't be a normal person.He cannot eat chicken,beef,spicy food,msg food,oily food,fried food,no seafood and too much of his favorites he couldn't eat anymore. He couldn't do his favorite work,he couldn't drive us around,he couldn't stay healthy anymore.Ever since early of last year,my dad have been fighting against the death god,fighting against his 7-cm big cancer cell on his lung.He have been very brave.He have survive a year plus,instead of the few months the doctor told him...but now,i can feel that he's giving up...he's giving up..............
He told me, gugu(my aunt) said, once you closed your eyes,you will be able to let go everything in front of you.If you keep opening your eyes,you can see the reality,things that you still couldn't let go,i know u feel like letting go,but dad,i don't want.I don't want to let you go,i want you to stay,stay by my side.I want you to see me marrying with the man i could rely and love.I still want you to hold my hand through my future wedding ceremony.I still want that......that's my wish all along.I know i'm selfish,but i got no choice,i really don't want to stop our fate here.No way..................................
I wanted to tell all this to my dad, but i just don't know how to say.
I am quiting my job soon,so that i can spend more time at home,wait for me okay?
I am trying my best to save lots of money so that when u're recover,we can go travelling to Europe,don't give up for the sake of me........pls........................................................

我爱你 froze in time on 3/03/2008 10:57:00 PM


__________________

This is me
`I'M 19
`D.O.B : 09Nov90
`Graduated from BNSS
`Studying In NYP (2nd Yr)
`Diploma of Business Management(Retail)
`In a relationship

'I have lost someone who means a lot to me, from that day, I've been alone in my journey to future. Living in despair, the only reason to live is to fulfill my promises to him.

This Heart is dead ever since.*20.07.2008*

**..His Last Smile..**
> .さ。よ。な。ら
______________________

I just like it!
1. Money!
2. BF
3. Family
4. Handphones
5. Sports =/
_____________________

The Band I'm In Love With
Mayday 五月天
My one and only
Nohara Shinnosuke
__________________

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