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:永远的痛:

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

37 of 49 days.
Soon, these 49 days will be over, and dad will never come home anymore.
Yesterday i dreamt of dad again....
Ever since he passed away, i have always been dreaming about him.
He looked so healthy in my dream.
Still kicking alive
I was so happy when i see him again, but i will always wonder will this moment lasts...
The conclusion is ..... No.. it didn't.. once i wake up from my sleep.. dad's gone..,but yesterday's dream is weird..i saw dad below the building i was at..he was calling me to go home as it was very late at night already. He walked weakly back to the house he came out from. I feel that something bad was about to happen..so i quickly went down to find him...but no matter how i run... i just can't reach him...and soon after, i woke up from my dream..
Only in my dream, I can still see dad.
When i woke up, he's permantly gone.
I missed you so much dad.... so much..

我爱你 froze in time on 8/26/2008 11:30:00 AM

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

31 of 49, 31 of 100days.

Today.., reminds me about 1 month ago.
20/07/08 12.15am..
Dad's last breathe.
It has been a month since he passed away.
It seems like as if he just passed away last week.
I still missed him so much..
Dad, im still waiting for you to come back home.

We used to watch television all day long ...
You'll always criticise those taiwan stupid dramas...and you will always watch those "Wu xia" serials.
Since you passed away...no one watches that anymore.
I missed the time when i lie on your thigh while you chat with ah ma.
I missed the time when we chatted about the recent news.
I still cried because i missed you too much.
Dad..
I love you..



One more exam paper to go.Wish me good luck! Weee~

我爱你 froze in time on 8/20/2008 10:48:00 PM

Sunday, August 10, 2008

21 of 49 days. 21 of 100 days.
Happy belated birthday to Singapore~

Yesterday's fireworks were really nice!..i didn't catch it in live, but instead on the television.
It's nice to watch from the tv because you don't have to squeeze in the crowded place just to watch bit and piece of the fireworks.
080808 is a bad day for me i guess.
Seems like i didn't do really well for my IT & web technology.
I guess i got to repeat this module yeah? As i can't save the results already.
Perhaps my group members wasn't that happy with my performance,yeah, i agreed.
This is fairness, i understand.
I just feel hopeless for myself.

Why i always feel so depressed after you have gone.
Everything seems to go in the wrong direction without you.
Mum still couldn't get used to the life without you.
I guess, i myself also can't.
People around us always want to make our life difficult.
So what if we live in a jumbo flat...?
So what if we have the insurance..?
So what if we have some money left by you?
They simply can't understand..
Money cannot exchange a life.
Money cannot make you come back.
We all rather we are broke.
Just to extend your life and fate with us.
And ONE thing...
Money is not forever.

How i wish you are here.
So people will not bully us.
I WANT THEM GET RETRIBUTION !
THEY MUST ALL DIE WITH YOU!

我爱你 froze in time on 8/10/2008 11:19:00 AM

Sunday, August 3, 2008

3 August 2008
14 of 49 ; 14 0f 100.
Happy birthday to you my brother.
So sorry that we can't celebrate with you,because ... you know right?
Never mind, your sweet sister have already ordered a creative mp3 from MS, and that will be your birthday present. =)
2 August 08
My bf brought me to Waraku Japanese Restuarant to eat, to "mi bu" our 16 months anni.
BBQ beef slices with raw egg + Rice + miso soba
It's boiling~~!
Dear's Grilled Salmon
HEE.
Hehe, I've a nice time there,nice meal =D.
Thanks my dear.
Happy 16 months anni to you too.


我爱你 froze in time on 8/03/2008 03:17:00 PM

Friday, August 1, 2008

01 August 2008, The 1st day of hungry ghost festival, the 16 months with my BF.
12 of 49 ; 12 of 100.
My life is currently in a mess.
DAD! CAN YOU HEAR ME?! SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL !!!!!


Though it's our 16 months, but i don't feel happy anymore.
It's not because we're not in love..., it's because i just lost my heart.

我知道我留不住你
我知道有一天你可能就这样走掉
我知道放开手但不知道这么忘掉
你走掉的每一份每一秒，是这么难熬
你就这样不回头
等待又等待，根沉默的等待
时时 泪如雨下
带着对你的承诺 我拼命咬紧牙关
再次拿起已失去温度的双手
独自行走
就让我们的回忆定在那里
永别了，爸

我爱你 froze in time on 8/01/2008 10:33:00 PM


__________________

This is me
`I'M 19
`D.O.B : 09Nov90
`Graduated from BNSS
`Studying In NYP (2nd Yr)
`Diploma of Business Management(Retail)
`In a relationship

'I have lost someone who means a lot to me, from that day, I've been alone in my journey to future. Living in despair, the only reason to live is to fulfill my promises to him.

This Heart is dead ever since.*20.07.2008*

**..His Last Smile..**
> .さ。よ。な。ら
______________________

I just like it!
1. Money!
2. BF
3. Family
4. Handphones
5. Sports =/
_____________________

The Band I'm In Love With
Mayday 五月天
My one and only
Nohara Shinnosuke
__________________

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