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:永远的痛:

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Today I went JB with my mom, bro and uncle to settle some bank problem. Then after that we went to City Square to shop around. I happen to see this shop selling all sort of unique buns from Taiwan. I have seen a taiwan show "I guess" introducing "Mr BaoZi", so we bought some home. It's selling RM$3 per bun and 6 for RM$14 plus. It's kinda nice, haa,now i know bun can have special taste too. =)
 Black Bread? Chao Ta Bread? Spoilted Bread?...
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haha, it's actually a bread made of bamboo charcoal
It's kinda special too. First time seen a black colour bread.
Taste normal. Just the colour weird.
Had a tiring day today. It's time to sleep~





我爱你 froze in time on 6/23/2009 10:38:00 PM

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Today's sky look like this.. the picture is quite blur because i am in the car. haa

 Our Marina IR ~ nice?
Today is 17.06.2009.
A year back, same date, we sent daddy to SGH for emergency.
Because he finally cannot bear the pain anymore.
In the cab, dad sit on my left, mom on right.
While we are going to reach SGH.
My tears fell.
I don't know why, I got a feeling that after this day, dad will never go home anymore.
Indeed, I predicted the correct thing.
Daddy saw me crying.
He held my left hand.
Like some kind of reassuring.
His hands were always so warm.
We reached SGH.
Waited 4 hours until Daddy is offically admitted in.
7 days later.
He was sent to Dover Park Hospice.
He slowly lost his eye sight.
Than one by one his teeth dropped off.
He was losing the battle.
Finally, he cannot see us.
Cannot hear us clearly.
Cannot recognize us.
He was so skinny.
Skin started to rot.
He could not speak well anymore.
He was sent to "V.I.P" room ( that room is for those dying paitents)
He couldn't see, hear, speak and feel.
One day I was called to rush to the hospice asap (I am in school doing project )
I reached there first, before my brothers.
Daddy's tired already.
He's closing up his eyes.
I am so afraid that he'll close his eyes forever.
I was alone with him.
I told him how much we loved him...please don't go.
He woke up suddenly, and never closed up his eyes anymore.
For the next days and night, he never sleep.
He seems like forcing himself to stay awake, because he heard me.
On 19.07.2008.
My mom, bro and me went to accompany him.
We are watching TV.
Talk to him awhile.
Help him clean up.
Before I leave the room, I told him
"Daddy, 明天再来看你"
I planted a kiss on his forehead.
On the same night,
the nurse called us.
Dad's condition is worsen, we had to prepare for the worse.
12.15am.
We received a call from the same nurse.
He passed away on 20.07.2008 12.15am.
......
Lung Cancer is scary right?
So smokers, stop smoking, you are not just killing yourselves
But in the same time, you're killing others who are around you when you're smoking.
My dad got lung cancer, not because he smokes.
My grandpa smoked for decades....




我爱你 froze in time on 6/18/2009 01:22:00 AM

Monday, June 15, 2009




The date is nearer. One year is coming.
Heart will collapse soon.....
I have taken down my smile today and fell into sadness.
I tried so hard to cry without making a sound.
I tried so hard to make my eyes not to be red nor swollen.
I'm tired. The days are over.
I had to accept and adapt.
Today I felt that everything crush me so hard that I had to .... cry.
Sounds funny? I don't cry, it's just..so not me.
It seems like fate want to take everything you left away.
I wish I can never stop dreaming.
Only in dream, I can see you. Hug you.
We're so far apart. I can never reach you anymore.
I don't expect people to understand how much I love you.
I missed those days. When you're around.
Protect me from falling.
I used to feel secured.
Not now anymore.
You have changed everything in my life.
I am sick of going home. In fact, I hate home.
How I wish i can share my burden with you.
Why am I keep forcing myself not to cry?
会 很会伪装我自己
我的声音在笑 泪在飙
为何我的真心 你听不到

我爱你 froze in time on 6/15/2009 11:23:00 PM

Saturday, June 6, 2009

剩下的人生
刚刚读了阿信的blog 看到了这句话 想了很多 很多伤心事
有时 觉得自己是不是还没长大 为什么还会喜欢歌手 喜欢收集五月天的音乐？
以前也有听五月天的歌 但是不是很疯狂
其实突然发现他们的歌代表人生 就想把人生的过程写成歌
这就是为什么很喜欢吧。。。

五月天10万人 出头天演唱会 dvd


去年的今天 你还在我身边 不过很痛苦 每天都苦着脸 我很遗憾 遗憾为什么自己没有多陪陪你 考试重要吗？

玩电脑 重要吗？男朋友重要吗？ 到底什么是比你跟重要？？

对不起， 没有好好陪陪你 让你孤独的离开这个世界

人生不会有从来的那一天 如果错过了 就失去了 很多人还不明白这个道理 为什么人总是要失去才会后悔

为什么不让自己没有“后悔”为什么不珍惜？ 珍惜是不用学的 爱 就大胆的告诉他/她

后悔的泪算什么？“后悔”本来就不该拥有 是自己造的

生命 走了 不会再回来了

我那掉下来的泪 是因为自己造的

我剩下的人生 该这么度过？


我爱你 froze in time on 6/06/2009 12:37:00 PM

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


Hurray I got my The Sims 3! Sorry for the lousy photo quality. My room was too dark. Anyway, I was kinda disappointed when my brother did not get the limited edition T-shirt. He said the organiser gave out the gift before 2pm (this is the time they suppose to start)....i want that shirt~~ They gave me a hairband instead =.= .. How can I possibly wear that hairband out. People will thought that I'm a alien. With that big GREEN diamond on top on the hair band..looks funny.


Guess what's this...?
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A 2Gb thumbdrive =)




See, the cloud is now lower than a tree. HEE.
1 week 5 days to term break.
I am going to die due to exhaustion.
3 more ICAs to go..
Oh yeah, I am confirmed to work as a flyer distributor for next week's IT fair @ Suntec
Money money money =)....




我爱你 froze in time on 6/03/2009 12:13:00 AM

Monday, June 1, 2009

Finished my marketing ica 1 today, yeah~ finally.. headache is over.
Yesterday I cooked teriyaki chicken rice for dinner. Yummy~

Look yummy? =)
I am a great fan of Japanese food, so I tried cooking it myself.
 There was once a lady introduce me this teriyaki sauce for grilling chicken. Yeah, indeed it's really tasty. =)..



Just eating the rice is kinda plain I bought the instant miso soup as side.

 Dinner's ready~
It's easy to cook, using sushi rice, seaweed, chicken cutlet and the teriyaki sauce.
Try it if you like~


我爱你 froze in time on 6/01/2009 09:41:00 PM


__________________

This is me
`I'M 19
`D.O.B : 09Nov90
`Graduated from BNSS
`Studying In NYP (2nd Yr)
`Diploma of Business Management(Retail)
`In a relationship

'I have lost someone who means a lot to me, from that day, I've been alone in my journey to future. Living in despair, the only reason to live is to fulfill my promises to him.

This Heart is dead ever since.*20.07.2008*

**..His Last Smile..**
> .さ。よ。な。ら
______________________

I just like it!
1. Money!
2. BF
3. Family
4. Handphones
5. Sports =/
_____________________

The Band I'm In Love With
Mayday 五月天
My one and only
Nohara Shinnosuke
__________________

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