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:永远的痛:

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Just finish my early dinner, these few days everyone at home will be working except me.
Recently, ashin seem to be quite free, online so often =D .
Now by right i should be doing reports, maybe because it's too hot in the noon, i dont have the mood to do anything. I guess i'll chiong all my reports at night.
Tml don't have to report work in Cheers. YES AH! haha. I hated monday morning shift, have to wake up at 5am and go school.
My brother have been posted to Republic Poly, Monday have to accompany him to NYP to appeal again. hais. My off day~
BF's parents just came to Singapore, hope that our dream will come true.
He intend to bring to Hong Kong on April for a short trip. Cos his aunts are living there.
Hehehe. I'm awaiting for that day.
In order to go Hong Kong I have decided to give up Mayday april 's concert.
I'll miss your performance mayday~




I am craving for korean food!~

我爱你 froze in time on 2/07/2010 06:01:00 PM

Sunday, January 31, 2010

I like it my way

Every corner of the house, there are damages
Not done by earthquake nor tornado
It the aftermath of a destruction
By a psycho living in the house

He love to torture people around him
Tears, blood, money
He loved all
Like a hungry vampire

We hide, We fear this demon from hell
Future destruction is inevitable
This will last till his death

"The sinners will be tormented in Hell"
I believe he will be one of the most suitable candidate




Daddy,
It's time I let you go
Meeting you in dream is more than enough
Thanks for being with me all this while
I love you daddy.

我爱你 froze in time on 1/31/2010 09:28:00 PM

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

How can I stop family violence?
Report to police? Does it helps?

I am really tired living under his fists.
Why my family are so afraid of him...?
Just let him punch, kick or stab me.
Just once, and I will have the evidence against him.
We are protected by law, why afraid..?
I want to send him to jail, I don't care who is he.
Why must we let him control the way we live..?
He's just a selfish bastard.

As long as he injure me, he will have his consequences.
The most is to serve jail term.
Who cares?
I don't.
I have been living this kind of life for way too long.
Enough is enough.
Family are not your punching bag, not puppets.

You'll wait and SEE.
See what can I do.
I will stop everything.
HERE!

我爱你 froze in time on 1/13/2010 09:15:00 PM

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Christmas Eve 24/12/2009
Went to spagattis @ Bedok to have dinner, because I was sick that day, so after dinner, bf just send me home straight. Too tired from working at cheers in school. Sleep late and wake up very early. My christmas this year was ruined due to my flu. hais.
I ordered pasta with 2 flavoured. Quite nice but kinda expensive for the place we went.

Christmas 25/12/2009
Went to suntec and shop around with bf, met pei xuan, wei quan and andrew for dinner at fish & co, then went to dempsey road for ben & jerry's ice cream waffles.
Lonely and cold ride home from tanglin to bedok, unforgetable. Enjoyed my dinner with my bsc team =). I missed bsc.
26/12/2009, Suppose to celebrate the 1000th days anniversary with BF on 25/12. Because I calculate the wrong number of days, so we decided to celebrate on the 26/12/2009.
We went to PS, actually wanted to watch Alvin & the chipmunk 2, but by the time we reach there, most of the best seating are sold out, only left the front few seating, so we went off without watching it. Sadd... I wanted to watch this show so badly...
We went to 313 @ Somerset, shop around and finally decided to settle down for our dinner at Marche. Some photos taken at Marche, good for atmosphere. Food,....err, not bad =).









Crepe @ $10.90
Choice of chicken, ham or mushroom *Ham is recommended. =)Tasty.

Seems like salad.
$4.90 for small, don't try the pumpkin, it's not nice, eew.

Potato with cream @ $5.90 +
Nice, my BF like this the most.

Banana Cake slice @ $3.90
After dinner, we went to icing room to make our own cake for this special day. Bought the 4 inch cake @ $12 plus a box of fruits @ $ 2.80.
Add Image





我爱你 froze in time on 12/27/2009 12:05:00 AM

Saturday, December 19, 2009

I hate myself being myself.
I hate the way I talk to people.
I hate myself for not controlling.
I,...know my heart has him, yet I always always made him sad.
I really find it difficult to communicate with people.
Can I prefer not to talk anymore?
Why he will never understand what I am talking about?
How come he has brain, so do i. But the things we think are totally different
I wish he could just stop thinking of buying all sort of weird gifts for me.
All I want is sincerity.
Not Money.
I know I have been telling you I want this or that,
it doesn't mean I want you to buy.
I want something we can always keep in our hearts.
I know I am a damn cruel person.
Sorry for doing that,
because that is the only way I can protect myself from harm.
You have a full and happy family.
I don't.
You have a bunch of good buddies.
I don't.
You can have what you want.
I can't.
You don't have to think of others before you do anything.
I can't.
You can't understand that my heart had died once.
It's difficult, really diffcult to stay alive again.
Unless.
Daddy comes back to me.
伤痛却又在考倒我
。。
真的雨过天晴了吗？

我爱你 froze in time on 12/19/2009 12:59:00 PM

Monday, December 14, 2009


Time reveals a man's heart
Today, one of my team mate say that I seems to have a wall barrier between myself and other people. I used to be really quiet in school, because I always believe that the more I say, the more I will get hurt. I thought I had already leave that kind of life, but now I am back here again.
Alright, I should be used to it, because I came from there too.
How to suppress my emotions?
How long do I have to?
I always leave bad impression to others.
I guess that is who I am.
I don't want to explain.
I don't want to see nor hear.
Cos I believe what mine is mine.
Love can be simple, but friendship can't.
I don't want friends, not a single friend I want.
It will only cause wound & pain.
I am totally totally enough of that.
IF YOU HATE ME, PLS STAY FAR FAR AWAY FROM ME.
Saying words that hurt people isn't fun.
You'll get karma.

Daddy, I realised your over protection make me impossible to stand up for myself.
I need my wall barrier to protect myself.
I don't want to fall down anymore.
I want to learn to be fearless.
Daddy, give me some strength will you...?

我爱你 froze in time on 12/14/2009 08:02:00 PM

Saturday, December 12, 2009

France, Nice

I have the opportunity to go France for school exchange programme, a 4 months study trip. These few days I have been thinking whether I should apply or not. It's kinda expensive. But it is my dream, backpacking, diving, tour Europe. A dream that is really difficult to reach, it's now offered to me, should I apply or no? Anyway even if I applied, it doesn't mean that they will choose me. What should I do??

After these few weeks in BSC, after all, some people had shown her true colour, a bad side of hers. Actually, I don't intend to.....make it worst. Actually I am really enjoying my life in BSC. I am happy. Really. But I really don't understand, how come human's thoughts can be so complicated. I am sick and tired of it. I am exhausted almost everyday. I can feel that heart beats is going slower. How I wish I can just close my eyes and wait for everything to fall upon me. Why every steps I have taken hurts me.

Can I just stop breathing with you.

I choose to be with you.

.

..


我爱你 froze in time on 12/12/2009 11:28:00 PM


__________________

This is me
`I'M 19
`D.O.B : 09Nov90
`Graduated from BNSS
`Studying In NYP (2nd Yr)
`Diploma of Business Management(Retail)
`In a relationship

'I have lost someone who means a lot to me, from that day, I've been alone in my journey to future. Living in despair, the only reason to live is to fulfill my promises to him.

This Heart is dead ever since.*20.07.2008*

**..His Last Smile..**
> .さ。よ。な。ら
______________________

I just like it!
1. Money!
2. BF
3. Family
4. Handphones
5. Sports =/
_____________________

The Band I'm In Love With
Mayday 五月天
My one and only
Nohara Shinnosuke
__________________

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